Hope
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer is with Juliet, but now that Kate's back things get complicated. Will he be able to stay faithful to Juliet? Or will his love for Kate make things more complicated than ever. Skate/Suliet. WIP
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: 5 of the Oceanic 6 are back on the island. Kate goes to talk to Sawyer. What happens when Kate is jealous of Sawyer and Juliet?**

Kate was sitting on the porch, letting her legs dangle and swing. She was watching Sawyer, who was kneeling next to a little girl. She was crying and showing him her elbow which was slightly scraped, but not badly. Sawyer lifted her to the top of the slide and she started laughing. He instructed her to go down the slide and caught her when she got to the bottom. Kate smirked and then Sawyer walked back toward her and sat down.

"Sorry about that," he said.

Kate had been back on the island for exactly a week. When she and Sawyer saw each other again they both cried, although Sawyer would never admit it. They hugged and held on to each other, but not for long. Then they came back to the village only to lie. They had to lie about knowing each other. They were lying about who they were and Sawyer seemed to be the leader. Kate found it almost funny that Jack wanted so desperately to go back to the island so they could stop lying, only to get there and tell more lies.

Kate didn't know who the little girl was that Sawyer had been playing with, but she knew that he was living with Juliet, which made her incredibly jealous. She didn't know why she felt so jealous. She didn't know what it meant. But she wanted to talk to Sawyer. She wanted to talk to him and not pretend anymore that she didn't know him.

"Her parents died," Sawyer whispered.

"What?"

"Jessie," he said, gesturing to the little girl who was now playing with a couple of the other children. "Both of her parents died…me and Jules have been looking after her."

"She's cute," Kate said softly.

"I really missed you Kate," he whispered. "There hasn't been a day that's passed without me thinking about you."

"I wish I could say the same," she mumbled, and turned a light pink shade. "I mean…I thought about you, but not every day. I had to get on with my life."

"Why the hell do you think I'm living with Juliet?" he asked. "I just wanted to tell you…even though I love Juliet…I never stopped loving you."

"You love her?" she whispered."Yeah," he nodded. "But you know why I never stopped loving you?" "Why?" she asked, turning more toward him and looking at him in the eye.

"It's because of you that I can love Juliet," he said. "I never wanted anything in my life Freckles. I didn't care what happened to me or what happened to anyone around me. I just-I was worthless. But then I met you. And I fell-I fell head over heels. I let my guard down with you and…somehow I didn't get my heart broken."

"You didn't?" Kate asked.

"Who do you think you are Kate?" Sawyer chuckled. "The island princess? Guys fawn all over you? Well I ain't the doc. A little rejection ain't gonna kill me. In fact…you're the first person to ever reject me."

"Cocky bastard," she smirked.

"So what do you want?" he asked. She let out a soft scoff and he shook his head. "That came out wrong…I just meant…what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you," she whispered. She cleared her throat and reached into her pocket. She handed Sawyer an envelope. The words James Ford were scrawled on the front. He looked at the envelope and then at Kate.

"So the mystery is solved," he said softly.

"What mystery?" she asked."Why you came back of course," he answered. "To give me an envelope."

"Yep, you found me out," she nodded and smiled.

"What is this?" he asked."Well you gotta open it up to find out," she replied. She could see that his hands were shaking as he opened the envelope and took out the letter. There was a picture on top. It was a picture of a toothless girl, holding Aaron as a baby.

"What is this?" he asked."That's your daughter, holding Aaron," Kate smiled. He opened the piece of paper and saw the words Dear Daddy. He quickly closed the piece of paper and shoved the paper, envelope and picture into Kate's hand. He stood up and went into the house quickly. Kate stood up and shoved the door opened. She looked at Sawyer who was standing in the kitchen, holding on to the counter.

"What's going on Sawyer?" she asked."What are you giving me that for?" he questioned."Because," she began. "You're-you deserve to know what she looks like. You deserve-let me just read this to you James, because I helped her write it…Dear Daddy, I love you. That's all it says Sawyer. She drew you a picture."

Sawyer took the piece of paper back and saw a picture of a house."Where's Aaron?" he asked softly.

"James-" she began."Sorry," he mumbled. "I know that it's none of my business-" he sighed. "I also know that you raised him for 3 years Kate…you must miss him."

"You have no idea," she whispered. "James, he's-he was my one connection to the island. I mean, other than Jack. Jack was-""You don't gotta-" he began.

"I want to," she interrupted. "I cared a lot about him. I still do Sawyer, but-we just couldn't make it work. I dunno. I just felt like-I loved him, but I felt like I was someone else when I was with him. He means a lot to me Sawyer, but I'm not in love with him…not anymore. I thought he was all I could ever want…so when he came to be with me…When he asked me to marry him, I thought it was what I wanted, but really. I mean I hate to even say this, but he was my one connection to the island. I knew that I could never be happy with anyone else because I would have to spend my life lying to him. But Jack knew everything, so I could just be myself and not have to lie."

"But you loved him?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess.""Come on Kate," he shook his head. "You just said that you were engaged to the guy…you wouldn't have said yes if you didn't really love him."

"I thought I had everything," she answered. "And then it all came crashing down around me. It wasn't Jack's fault-entirely…but I shouldn't have lied to him. Things could be so different."

"But things aren't different," he said softly. "I gave Aaron to his grandmother," she blurted out and started sobbing. She put her hands to her face and turned toward Sawyer.

"What?" he asked, trying to put a calming hand against her back, but hesitating at the same time.

"Aaron," she sniffled. "I couldn't bring him back here. I just had this feeling that something awful was going to happen-""So why did you come back-" he began.

"It's not important why I came back," she shook her head. "I just knew I had to give Aaron to someone I could trust. And Aaron's grandma was in town so I drove to her apartment. She had no idea that Aaron even existed. I told her the whole story and I left him with her."

"Well why couldn't you just stay back in civilization with Aaron. Why'd you have to come?" he asked.

"Because a man came to me-he worked for Ben…he told me that they wouldn't stop until the truth about Aaron was told to everyone. And then I would lose Aaron for good. So I wanted to do it on my own terms. After losing Aaron…I had nothing else left. And plus-I had no idea if Claire's mom would end up telling everyone about me-I could have ended up ruining everything. When Aaron was gone Sawyer…I felt like there was no point of me even staying in civilization. Plus…Locke said that some very bad things were going to happen…I couldn't let you die. I come back here and you're perfectly happy."

"Are you jealous?" he asked.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I just-I didn't expect you to be with her and so happy…and I'm really glad you're happy Sawyer-"

"You're really jealous," he smirked.

"Insanely," she responded.

"Good," he said. "Kate I don't want you to be jealous…but I guess I just like the fact that instead of wishing you could be with Jack…you might be wishing that you were with me."

"Doesn't change your feelings though does it?" she whispered."Kate, you will always be the first woman I ever let myself fall in love with," he said. "I love you more than anything…and there's one thing you have that Juliet never will…I'll never love Juliet the way I love you. But I won't hurt her."

"You've changed James," she whispered.

"You too," he said, putting his hand against her cheek. "Thanks for telling me about Aaron…and Clementine."

"Sawyer!" Juliet's voice exclaimed through the house.

"Yeah," he said, turning away from Kate, and toward Juliet.

"It's pink," she stated. Sawyer's face quickly turned down. Kate had never seen him look so terrified.

**A/N:Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Flashback-The night before**

"James," Juliet whispered, as he ran his hands down her body. "Don't leave me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Kate's back," she whispered. "She means everything to you."

"You mean everything," he told her and kissed her again. "You've been here for 3 years. Kate was here for 3 months…and half the time we spent that either separated or fighting. And why the hell do you think I'm going to leave?"

"I think I'm pregnant," she mumbled and turned her back on him.

"What?" he asked, pulling her over to face him.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. "I'm gonna take a test tomorrow, but…"

"What's wrong with right now?" he asked.

"I have to go to the medical hatch to get one. Just don't be mad," she shook her head.

"I ain't mad," he answered.

"I don't want you to leave me," she sniffled.

"Where am I going?" he asked. "I ain't gonna leave you. What ever happens, Juju, we'll figure it out. We'll be ok."

"Juju," she chuckled. "3 years of you calling me Juju and I'm still not used to it."

"I love you," he whispered.

"Love you too," she sighed.

**Flashback Over**

"It's pink," Juliet said.

Kate stared from Juliet to Sawyer, not believing what she was hearing. Sawyer hadn't taken his eyes off of Juliet. He stood up slowly and half tripped on his way over to Juliet. Kate stood up quicker than Sawyer and ran over toward both of them. Her mouth was wide opened.

"You're pregnant!" Kate exclaimed.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered and turned around. "Can you let me deal with this? Just-go."

"But I just-" she began.

"Go," he whispered.

"Sawyer I-" she started again.

"Get out!" he yelled. She jumped slightly and nodded.

"Ok," Kate whispered, feeling smaller by the second. She left the house and felt a large lump make it's way into her throat. Sawyer watched Kate leave till the door shut and then turned back to Juliet.

"You're sure?" he asked Juliet.

"It's pink James," she said, handing it to him.

"That ain't pink," he stated. "It can't be pink. You can't be pregnant."

"James!" she exclaimed. "I can be pregnant James. It's kinda what happens when you-"

"I know," he mumbled. "Let me just-"

"You told me that you would be ok with it," she whispered. "No matter what happened, you said you'd be ok."

"That was before that little strip gave you a death sentence," he replied. "I don't want you to die."

"Sawyer, my whole life…I've wanted to be a mom," she said. "Ever since I became a fertility specialist, this is what I've wanted. So can't you just be happy for a couple minutes?"

"Jules," he whispered. "I'm scared."

"Well I am too," she sighed. "But…and I know this is going to sound stupid, but you're the man. You're supposed to make _me_ feel better."

"Come here," he said. He pulled her toward him and kissed her lips softly. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. Sawyer ran his hands down her back and let out a soft breath.

The next day Kate was standing outside, Juliet was standing next to her. Sawyer was standing near by telling people what to do. Kate let out a soft chuckle and then turned back toward Juliet.

"Weird," Kate said softly.

"What?" Juliet asked.

"Sawyer being an authority figure," she responded. "I'm surprised he's not kicking back with his legs up, with a good book."

"He's more than just a bookworm Kate," Juliet said coldly.

"I didn't-" Kate began.

"He's an amazing person," she continued. "If you opened your eyes just a little bit wider maybe you would have realized that sooner."

"Juliet I didn't-" Kate started again.

"No," she interrupted. "Sawyer spent the past 3 years thinking about you, and hoping that you were ok-"

"OK stop interrupting me!" Kate exclaimed. "I know that he's a good person Juliet. I never once said that he wasn't. In fact when everyone else hated him for being an asshole, I was the one telling him that i knew he was a good person, so don't you dare judge me! I'm sorry that he missed me for 3 years, but you know what...I missed him too. I knew before you did that he was a good person...so what made you realize how amazing he is?"

"He's been the rock of all of us," she whispered. "When Charlotte died…God, you should have seen it. He gave Daniel a hug. I had never seen him act so compassionate."

"Is Charlotte, Jessie's mom?" Kate asked.

"No," Juliet shook her head. "Charlotte was on the frieghter. She died 3 years ago. Jessie and her parents came here a few months ago...they died in the jungle. When they died Sawyer was the one to tell her. He was so good with her. I'm pretty sure he was meant to be a daddy. So that's why I'm not going to be upset about this baby. Kate, you had your chance and you blew it."

"Excuse me?" Kate scoffed.

"You were too busy trying to make Jack love you, to realize how much Sawyer already does," Juliet replied.

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed. "_You're _the one who told me that Jack kissed you because of me. You told me that Jack loved me."

"Well…I never said anything about Sawyer," she replied. "If you had even bothered to ask about Sawyer-the reason he jumped was for you."

"I know," Kate nodded. "I know."

"He saw you," she whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"In the jungle," Juliet continued. "When the island kept moving in time…we heard screaming in the jungle. Sawyer went ahead to find out what it was. He saw you helping Claire give birth."

"Why are you telling me?" Kate asked.

"Because I don't think I've ever seen him so defeated," Juliet replied. "He said he wanted so badly to go talk to you, but he couldn't because it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change the fact that you were gone. And I'm telling you because I know he wouldn't."

"Juliet, what should I do?" Kate asked.

"You should stay away from him," Juliet stated and started walking away from her. She then turned back and shook her head. "I just want to let you know something Kate…he's happy. At least I'm pretty sure he's happy…and if he's not then he's a damn good actor…especially in bed."

"Juliet-" Kate started.

"He's mine now Kate," she said threateningly. "Stay away from him!"

Juliet turned on her heel and walked up to her house. Sawyer was standing on the porch with his hands touching the eaves trough. When she got to Sawyer's side, Kate thought for sure she would wrap her arms around him and kiss him and rub her nose in it, but instead she took his hand. And instead it was Sawyer who turned toward her and smiled, and then kissed her softly and quickly. Kate frowned and then looked over to where some of the kids were playing. She saw Jessie throw sand at one of the other kids. Then a fight broke out. Sawyer didn't notice what was happening, so Kate walked over to the scene and pulled Jessie off of one of the other little girls.

"Stop," Kate said. "What happened?"

"No!" Jessie screamed. "Get off of me! James! James!"

Sawyer ran toward the little girl and picked her up.

"What are you doing?" he asked Kate.

"She was-" Kate began. "Never mind, you're not gonna believe me anyway."

Kate stomped off and Sawyer looked at Jessie who was still crying. He wiped the sand and tears off her face.

"What happened?" he asked.

"She told me my parents didn't love me!" Jessie exclaimed.

"Marissa," Sawyer said sternly. He knelt down and set Jessie down. "Marissa that is not nice. Jessie's mommy and daddy loved her very very much."

"She threw sand at me!" Marissa cried.

"Ok," Sawyer sighed. "Jessie no throwing sand. You both be nice. If I have to come over here again-"

"Ok," Marissa frowned. "Sorry Jessie."

"Sorry too," Jessie mumbled.

Sawyer stood back up and walked toward Kate's house. He went inside the house and Hurley was sitting next to her trying to assure her.

"He's confused," he said. "I mean he loved you so much, and now that he loves Juliet too…it's like how you didn't know who to love. Sawyer or Jack? Well now Sawyer doesn't know-"

"Hey Hugo, why don't you get out of here," Sawyer said softly. "I kinda need to talk to Kate."

"Sure dude," he smiled. He turned back toward Kate and winked. Kate smiled and Hurley left the house. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and looked at her.

"You wanna tell me what all that was about?" he asked.

"I was only trying to help," she mumbled.

"No," he sighed. "What was the whole 'you won't believe me anyway'?"

"I just got back here, and we're already fighting, you're already yelling at me," she mumbled. "I thought we could at least have a few days of getting along."

"It's been a week," he reminded her and then sighed. "Kate, I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday…but you being there didn't make things better."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "But when I heard her-when she told you she was pregnant…I just got so…jealous. I'm sorry."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Be jealous all you want Freckles, it ain't gonna change my mind. I'm not going to abandon Juliet now. I mean come on…what do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to stay with her, and love her and your baby," she shrugged. "I don't know what I thought would happen when we saw each other again."

"Did you think that I would fall at your feet and just-" he began.

"No," she interrupted.

"Good," he answered. "Because I'm done letting people use me Kate. Juliet loves me for-well I actually have no idea why she loves me, but she does."

"Maybe part of me did," she whispered.

"What?" he asked. "Now what are you talking about?"

"I guess a part of me thought…I'd just come back into your life and you'd want me just as much as you always have."

"Well that part you're right about Freckles," he answered. "Of course I want you…I'll always want you. But I can't have you. It might be our undoing Kate, but you know we can't do anything."

"I know," she nodded. "So…Juliet's really pregnant?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I don't know-I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I want to comfort her because she's scared, but I'm just as scared. I'll never be a good enough dad."

"You're great with Jessie," she told him.

"But Freckles, I mean, that's different. Other people's kids are easy. If I screw them up who cares…but Juliet-and she can't die."

"Do you really love her?" Kate asked softly.

"Kate," Sawyer shook his head. "Don't do this alright? Don't be jealous."

"She's having your baby, how can I not be jealous?" she asked.

"You really really wanted a baby with me?" he asked.

"What?" she whispered.

"Did you or did you not really want a baby with me?" he questioned.

"I-I don't know what you mean-" she started.

"You're so jealous of Juliet because she's having my baby," he began. "And you got all pissed at me when I was happy that you weren't pregnant. Did you want a baby with me?"

"I don't know," she half sobbed. "I don't know."

They both thought about when she uttered those same words when she kissed him in the cage. He sighed and stood up. He ran his hands through his hair and looked back at her.

"You didn't want my baby Kate," he told her. "And honestly, now I'm even happier that you weren't pregnant because I wouldn't have been there for 3 years."

"Sawyer, I'm not jealous of her just because she's having a baby," she sniffled. "I miss my baby. And I-I missed 3 years with you. I wish that we had spent that time together. I missed you so much Sawyer, you have no idea."

"So you came back for me?" he smirked. He walked back over to where Kate was sitting and sat down next to her. She half chuckled and shook her head.

"I came back because of Aaron, but also…John's words kept looping in my head…he told me that you would end up dead. He told me-he told me you were in danger. And at first I didn't care…well I cared, but Aaron was my priority. And then he was threatened and I knew that I had to give him up. I guess you're right…when I came back here, I was hoping that we would just start from where we left off. Kissing in that helicopter. I miss the way that you used to look at me. And now you're with her. You're looking at her the way you looked at me."

"Go let Jack comfort you," he said. Kate knew she deserved it, but it still hurt. She grabbed Sawyer's hand before he walked away from her.

"Ok," she sighed. "I deserved that. But I'm done doing that. I'm not going to go to Jack. Me and Jack, we're done."

"Well me and Juliet aren't," he said.

"What about us?" she asked. "I don't mean to be a silly stupid girl, but are we done. Are we over forever?"

"Freckles," he whispered. She leaned toward him and their lips were almost touching. Sawyer stopped moving toward her, but didn't back away. Their lips were so close to touching. "Kate, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you and-"

"Then," Kate said, and closed the gap between them. Their lips touched and both of them opened their mouths at the same time. Their tongues touched and a spark ignited. Neither of them moved to put their arms around each other. They sat their kissing, with no other body parts touching. Kate moved closer and put her hands on his legs. He put his arms around her waist and then quickly backed away and stood up.

"I gotta go," he said. He quickly left the house and left Kate alone. Sawyer ran down the steps and went back to his house.

Kate saw him later on in the day sitting on the porch with Jessie. Jessie was sitting on the step, and Sawyer was sitting one step above her. Kate almost laughed at the scene she watched. Sawyer was actually braiding Jessie's hair. It was horribly messy, one of the worst braids Kate had ever seen, but she thought it was amazing that Sawyer was trying. She watched as Sawyer handed Jessie a mirror. Jessie chuckled and put her hands to her mouth.

"James it looks so silly!" she exclaimed.

"I'm gonna git you," he said. Jessie squealed and ran away from him. Juliet was sitting on the porch swing watching them too. She chuckled as she watched Sawyer run after Jessie. Juliet waved at Kate almost challenging. Kate accepted the challenge and walked over to Sawyer and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Nice," she smiled and pointed at Jessie's hair. "I think you should go to beauty school."

"Well that's something to think about," he replied. "Very carefully."

He smiled at her. Kate liked how they could have intense moments, and then they could both get over it quickly. She smiled back at him, and then he walked up the steps to his house where Juliet was waiting. Kate felt more alone than ever and she felt stupid. He went into the house. Juliet followed him closely and put her hands against his hips as she went. Kate thought that she would turn around and brag, but she didn't. Kate felt the air around her get very cold. She sighed softly and walked away.

That night Sawyer was tucking Jessie into bed. She was sitting up in bed while Sawyer read her a story. He laid her down and tucked the covers around her.

"James, why can't my mommy and daddy come back?" she asked. "It's been long. I miss them."

"Jess," he sighed.

"I want my mommy and daddy," she frowned. "I want them to not be dead."

"I know you do," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"James," she sniffled. "Is it wrong to cry?"

"No," he gasped. "Who told you that?"

"No one," she shook her head. "But daddy used to tell me to be a big girl and not cry over spilled milk."

"Oh," he whispered. "Jess, that's just an expression and it means, don't cry over small things…but you can cry as hard as you want because of this."

"No," she frowned. "I don't want to feel sad."

"I'm so sorry," he sighed. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"I want to stay here forever," she said.

"Well that can definitely be arranged little Jess," he whispered. "And I'm gonna be here and so is Juliet. We won't let anything happen to you ok?"

"Are you my daddy now?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "But I'm gonna take care of you like a daddy does."

"Can I have a hug?" she sniffled.

"Sure," he chuckled. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. She laid down and closed her eyes. "Night Jessie."

"Goodnight James," she whispered.

He left the room and shut the door behind him. He walked back down the hall to the living room. Juliet was sitting on the couch reading a book. He walked up next to her and sat down.

"Jessie ok?" she asked.

"Not really," he replied. "I don't know what to do Juliet…she's devastated."

"Yeah," she whispered. "But something tells me that this look isn't just because of Jessie. What's going on?"

"I kissed her," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"I kissed Kate," he repeated. "She asked me if we were over forever, and then she kissed me, but I kissed her back."

"How did it feel?" Juliet asked.

"Julie-" he began.

"No," she shook her head. "How did it feel James?"

"I've never felt better and worse at the same time," he answered. "It felt amazing to kiss her again, but then I though about you, back here, pregnant…and it made me feel crap."

"I love you so much Sawyer," she whispered.

"I love you too Blondie," he said, running his hand through her hair. "I love you."

"But?" she asked, knowing there was more.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "I just love you."

"But you love her more," she responded.

"I didn't say that," he said.

"But you're thinking it," she stated. "You're thinking it."

"Shh," he whispered. He kissed her softly. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned toward him. She moved over him and straddled his legs. She let out a soft breath and kissed him deeper. There was a knock on the door and Juliet sighed. Sawyer chuckled and stood up. Juliet sat down hard on the couch and looked away from him. He went to the door. Kate was standing in front of him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Freckles-" he sighed. He pushed his way out of the house and shut the door behind him. "What-"

"I'm sorry that I kissed you," she whispered.

"Me too," he mumbled and looked at her.

"You know what?" she sighed and scoffed. "I'm not. I'm not sorry at all. In fact…I'm glad I kissed you. I love kissing you, and I would do it again in a millisecond."

"Kate," he mumbled.

"Do you regret it?" she asked. "Do you want to take it back?"

"I dunno," he whispered.

"Yes you do," she said softly. He leaned toward her, hesitantly and captured her lips. Neither one of them deepened the kiss further. They stood together with their lips touching, but not moving. Kate could feel Sawyer's lip trembling. They both wanted to deepen the kiss. They both wanted to touch tongues, but neither one of them did. Sawyer backed away slowly. He opened his eyes first. Kate's eyes were still shut and she let out a half sob, half gasp.

"Sawyer," she sobbed. She leaned against his shoulder. "Sawyer-I can't-I can't do this. I'm-I miss him so much. He meant everything to me. I don't know what to do."

"Freckles," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed. She wasn't breathing, but when she felt Sawyer's comforting hands rubbing her back, she took in a deep breath of his scent. She lifted her head to face him and leaned in to kiss him. He put his hand between their lips and shook his head. He wiped her cheeks gently with his entire hand. It was rough, yet soft at the same time.

"Kate, you don't even know how badly I want to take you into my arms and make love to you and-" he began. "I don't know, do ungodly things to you."

She let out a soft chuckle and then wiped her cheeks again.

"But I can't," he whispered. "Juliet is in there and she means more to me-she's been the only one in 3 years that I've been able to turn to. Like really turn to and open up to. I've been able to talk to her about how I feel about you-I've-she means everything to me Kate…I guess she's sort of my Aaron…only not because that's just wrong on so many levels."

"James!" she exclaimed and shoved him gently. He smirked weakly and she smiled back.

"Just know that in those 3 years…even though I was sharing my life with Juliet…I never once forgot about how much I love you. I just can't act on anything I'm feeling Freckles."

"I know," she nodded. "I just needed to know."

"I don't regret kissing you Kate," he said. "But it can't happen again. I gotta go. I'm sorry. I gotta go."

"K," she smiled weakly. He walked back into the house and sighed softly. He walked over to Juliet and leaned over her. He almost kissed her, but then she turned her head and pushed him away. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. She quickly pulled her hand away and moved away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I just-you're just wishing I was her."

"I'm not-" he scoffed. "I'm not thinking about her Juliet."

"How?" she asked. "You just saw her. I know that you love her…you've told me that you love her…I'm going to bed."

She stood up and went down the hall to the bedroom. Sawyer groaned and stood up. He went down the hall and went toward Juliet. Juliet was sitting on the edge of the bed. He leaned over her and kissed her softly. Then he stood back up and stroked her cheek softly. He walked away from her and stripped down to his boxers. He always slept in his boxers, but tonight Juliet found herself staring at him harder than usual.

"Goodnight," he said. He got into the bed and pulled the covers over himself. Juliet moved over the bed next to him. She put her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just-part of me knows that you will always love her more than me."

"It don't matter," he mumbled.

"What doesn't matter?" she asked.

"Who I love more," he replied. "It don't matter if I love Kate."

"It does to me," she whispered.

"I love you and I'm with you," he told her. "I ain't gonna go be with Kate just because she's back. And just because she wants me. And besides that, you're pregnant. I'm not going anywhere."

"Ok," she whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and rolled over on top of him. He ran his hand down her body and to the hem of her shirt. He pulled her shirt off and then rolled them over so he was on top.

"I like when you don't wear a bra Juju," he smiled down at her. She chuckled softly and kissed him again. He kissed her down her chest and down her stomach. She bit her lip and he looked up at her.

"It's been a while," she whispered.

"Well not that long considering you're knocked up," he whispered and came back up to her mouth. She ran her hands over his shoulders and pulled his shirt off. She unbuttoned her own pants and wriggled out of them.

"I want you so badly," she moaned.

"Hmm, ok," he whispered.

"Tell me you want me," she said. "Just me."

"I want you Juliet," he told her. He started pulling her underwear off, but Juliet stopped him.

He groaned into her ear and started sucking on her neck. He nipped her neck harder than he meant to and she let out a sharp gasp. He ran his tongue over her neck and down her chest, avoiding her breasts. He ran his rough hands over her. She let out another breath. He kissed down to her stomach and then stopped. Juliet rested her hand on his hair and he began whispering.

"Hey little baby in there," he started.

"James what are you doing?" Juliet laughed.

"I'm talking to the baby," he told her.

"Why?" she asked. "That's not like you."

"Because I got some things to say," he said. "I want a boy."

"You can't just wish for a boy," she chuckled.

"I can wish all I want," he smirked. "But we already got a girl…so I want a boy."

"I'll try my best," she laughed.

"And if he kills you…" he shook his head.

"James," she sighed.

"Don't die ok?" he said softly.

"I love who you are," she whispered. "I love who you've become. How much you've changed. You're so amazing, and don't let anyone tell you different. Don't let Kate let you feel like less of a man just because you fell in love with someone else."

"W-what?" he asked.

"She thought that she would come back here and you would still be completely head over heels in love with her," she sniffled. "And you are…but don't let her make you feel bad for being with me."

"I love you," he whispered. "Just-please don't die."

She leaned forward and kissed his lips. She rolled on to her back and pulled him on top of her. He started running his hands up and down her body again. She sighed in pleasure and whispered his name.

"James!" Jessie's voice screamed on the other side of the door. Sawyer looked up at Juliet who rolled her eyes but pushed him away.

"Go on," she said.

"I'll be right back," he whispered. "Hold that thought."

He kissed her lips passionately but quickly. He walked to the door and opened it. Jessie jumped into his arms.

"James, I had a bad dream," she sobbed. He stood up and carried Jessie back to her room. He set her in the bed and sighed softly.

"You had a bad dream?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sniffled. "I want my mommy! I want my mommy!"

"I know," he sighed. "It's gonna be ok Jessie. I don't know what to do here. I'm not very good at this daddy business."

"Will you cuddle me?" she asked.

"Ok," he sighed. "Move over."

He moved Jessie over so he could lay down in the bed with her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Stay forever," she whispered.

"Is that what you're scared of?" he asked. "You're scared me and Juliet won't be here?"

"Yeah," she whined.

"Well that ain't gonna happen," he told her.

"James," Jessie said. "Can you tell me a story?"

"Jessie I already told you one earlier," he said.

"But I'm still scared of my dream," she frowned. "Please. I want you to tell me another story about Princess Freckles."

"Ok," he chuckled. "Alright, part 2. One day Princess Freckles, was walking through the jungle and she came across the strong handsome prince."

"What was the prince's name?" she asked excitedly. "Was it the same prince Jackass?"

"Jessie, remember, I told you never to repeat that?" he said.

"But you-" she started.

"I know I said it, but it's not a nice word, and I think your momma and daddy would be mad at me for teaching you that," he answered.

"Ok," she mumbled. "Who was the prince?"

"Prince…um, Dimples," he said.

"You're the prince right!" she exclaimed and then she gasped. "And that new lady, Kate is Freckles!"

"Anyway so Princess Freckles and Prince Dimples stayed together in the jungle to keep each other company," he continued. "Princess Freckles was very scared of the dark, so she let Prince Dimples talk to her all night till she went to sleep."

"James, did that really happen?" she asked. "Did you and Kate keep each other company?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "Remember, Kate just got here."

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "I forgot."

"Alright," he sighed. "Now, go to bed Jessica. I'll see you in the morning."

"How come I don't got a nickname?" she asked.

"I haven't thought of one yet," he answered.

"But everyone has a nickname 'cept me!" she exclaimed.

"Ok…well for now you can be Shorty," he said. "Goodnight darlin'"

"Goodnight James," she said and closed her eyes. Sawyer leaned forward and kissed her nose. He got up and went back to his and Juliet's room. Juliet was laying in bed staring at the ceiling. Sawyer walked over to her side of the bed and knelt in font of her. He noticed that her pants were no longer laying on the floor.

"I'm tired James, I just want to go to bed," she sighed.

"Ju," he sighed. "Come on. You know that I'm crazy about you. And you also know that I have to take care of Jessie. She's-she's scared Juliet. Her parents are just-gone. She's only 6 years old."

"I know," she sighed and rolled over away from him. "I just-you don't want this baby, I just don't know what's going to happen."

"It's not that I don't want the baby Juliet," he answered crawling over her to his side of the bed, so she was facing him. "I'm just-I'm scared about it. I'm scared that you're gonna die and leave me alone."

"I'm not gonna die," she shook her head. "There's been a couple babies born here so far, and everything has been fine. It's gonna be ok. Do you know what freaks me out?"

"No," he answered. "What?"

"You have been talking about how much you love Kate," she said. "I mean before she came back. You've told me how much she means to you, and how you want her to come back…but now that she's back…you still love her Sawyer. You're going to leave me."

"Darlin'," he whispered. "I'm not going to leave you. It doesn't matter how much I love Kate, Juliet…I love you and we're having a baby. I love you."

"You love Kate," she sniffled. "Leave me alone."

He pulled her into a hug and held her closely. She shoved him away, and got out of the bed.

"Leave me alone," she said again, walking toward the bathroom door. Sawyer quickly got up and stood in front of the door.

"Juju," he whispered.

"Don't call me Juju," she scoffed. "It makes me sick."

"Are you really that mad at me?" he asked. "I'm standing right here…I'm with you-"

"You're not with me," she chuckled.

He stepped toward her and tried to put his arms around her, but she jumped put her arms up and hit his hands away. He tried to step toward her again. She smacked him harder and then started hitting him frantically. She was hitting his face and his shoulders. He grabbed her wrists to stop her. They fought their way back over to the bed. Sawyer landed on top of her and held her down.

"Stop it Juliet," he said. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You're stupid story!" she exclaimed shoving him off of her. "You were telling that damn story to Jessie about 'Princess Freckles and Prince Dimples'? What the hell is that about?!"

"You're crazy. Come on," he whispered, and kissed her lips softly. "I love you."

"No!" she exclaimed, jerking her arms away from him and started hitting him again. "You slept with her! Admit it! And you were kissing on the porch! I saw you! I hate you! I hate you!"

She flipped over on top of him and started hitting him again, but this time she was too upset to actually hit him at all. Finally she hit him hard in the face, and he over took her again and rolled them back over.

"I didn't sleep with her," he said. "At least not since 3 years ago."

"I hate you," she shook her head and started trying to hit him again. He repositioned himself to hold her tighter.

"You hate me Juliet?" he asked. "Then why are you so pissed at thinking that 'maybe' I slept with Kate?"

She leaned up and kissed his mouth hard and fast. He kissed her back and then rolled them over on their sides. He stopped kissing her and shook his head.

"I don't want to have some stupid angry sex," he told her.

"Hmm, well too bad," she whispered. "I do."

She kissed him again and this time he kissed her back, but slowed her down. She let out a soft breath and then worked on her own pants. She was fumbling with the button because she was trying to unbutton it too fast. He stopped her and looked at her.

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"Juliet," he sighed.

"Do you love me?" she repeated.

"Yes," he whispered. "Of course I love you."

"Then prove it," she said. "Prove to me that you love me."

She ran her hands down his body and then started taking her pants off again. This time Sawyer didn't stop her.

"I shouldn't have gotten redressed," she said with a smirk. She pulled her pants and underwear off and threw them across the room. She chuckled softly and wrapped her legs around him. She moaned softly, and kissed him hard. She was barely allowing either of them a deep enough breath. She looked at him and ran her hands down his chest. He slipped his hand down between them. She gasped loudly."You're hands are freezing!" she whispered.

"Sorry," he smiled. He started pulling his hand away, but she captured his hand between her thighs. She rolled over on top of him and started rocking her hips back and forth. She put her mouth against his neck to muffle her moans.

"James," she moaned. He moaned but didn't say anything. She started moaning sharply and louder, but he hadn't entered her yet. She rolled off of him and pulled him on top of her. They came together. Their breaths were labored. Juliet kept moaning louder and louder. Sawyer put his hand over her mouth to muffle her sounds. He rolled back off of her and they both laid on their backs to catch their breath.

Juliet rolled back toward him and kissed his lips. He turned his cheek and let out a soft breath. He left the bed and pulled his boxers back on. He walked over to the window and looked out of it. Kate was sitting on the porch looking at the sky. She had a mug of something. Sawyer sighed and then turned back toward Juliet.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Hmm," he murmured. "Nothing."

"You _were_ kissing her on the porch weren't you?" she asked. "When she came here earlier tonight…you kissed her. Tell me the truth…did you kiss her tonight?"

"You said you saw us," he whispered.

"I lied, but I guess there's my answer," she mumbled.

"It was just a peck," he told her. "We both leaned forward and our lips touched, but we didn't make out."

"You kissed her, and then you promptly shoved your tongue down my throat," she scoffed, and turned so her back was to him. He was still standing by the window, so he turned back around to look out of it. Kate was now gone from the porch. He walked back toward the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

"This is just…Juliet, you have to know that I love you, but this is just-" he sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"So when you were kissing her today…you came right into the house to kiss me, and you're telling me that you weren't thinking about her?" she asked.

"N-no," he replied. "I didn't-I wasn't thinking about her."

"It's ok," she sighed. "I was kinda just thinking about how pissed I was, so…we're even I guess. So what do you feel James? Do you love her? Do you want her back? Do you want to be with her?"

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I just need some-some time I guess."

"What you're telling me is that you just made love to me, and now you're thinking that tomorrow maybe you'll end up in Kate's bed?" she asked. "Did you sleep with her?"

"Juliet don't-" he started.

"Don't what!" she exclaimed. "We just had sex! And you were thinking about Kate!"

"I wasn't thinking about Kate," he whispered. "But I don't know what to do Jules. Seeing her every day-I don't know if I can-"

"Did you sleep with her?" she asked again. "Did you sleep with her yesterday?"

"No," he shook his head. "Jeez Juliet, no. I didn't sleep with her."

"Don't lie to me?!" she exclaimed. "Did you have sex with Kate?!"

"No!" he yelled back.

"What did you do? Tell me everything," she said.

"I ain't telling you anything," he shook his head. "This is ridiculous."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Real ridiculous. What the hell did you do yesterday?"

"We made out," he responded. "She kissed me first, but I kissed her back, and I wanted to. We kissed, but we didn't lay down and we didn't even really touch. She put her hands on my legs, and I started putting my hands on her waist, but I backed away because I knew that nothing could happen. I knew we couldn't have sex."

"But you wanted to," she frowned.

"Juliet, when I kissed her," she sighed. "I liked it. I liked it a lot. It was so good to feel her lips against mine again-"

"Stop," she shook her head.

"You asked," he responded. "I kissed her Juliet…I don't regret it, but I'm not going to let it happen again because I don't want to hurt you for anything."

"But you still want to be with her," she whispered. "I mean if tomorrow I said go be with her…you would…wouldn't you."

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I don't want to hurt you Juliet. I love you."

"But you love her too," she replied, not asking. "You're in love with her. I can see it in your eyes as you're talking about her. You're still in love with her."

"Ye-yeah," he nodded. "I still love her."

"Well I'm not going to just let you go," she answered. "I'm not going to just give you permission to leave me, but if you really really want to go have sex with her…I can't stop you. And if you do go have sex with her, we're gonna be over forever and I'll never forgive you. So who do you want James?"

"You," he answered quickly…too quickly.

"Tell the truth Sawyer," she sighed. "Who? Me, or Princess Freckles?"

"The truth," he mumbled. "I dunno Juju."

"Ok," she nodded. "But James…just to let you know…this baby is going to be born and it's going to change our lives forever, so you better get your feelings sorted out right now."

He hesitated before he put his arms around her, and surprisingly she turned back toward him and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm glad everyone liked the chapter! I know it was slightly out of character for Juliet, and for Sawyer too, but I was just showing how much people could change in 3 years. Plus Juliet is pregnant and hormonal and emotional. So I'm sorry if you didn't like the way I wrote Juliet. I'm going to try to make her more in character for this chapter. I'm also glad that everyone is torn. No one does want Jack because I wanted to do something completely different. I'm really sick of the love triangle, but if they took someone out of the mix (like Jack), then it might get interesting.**

When Sawyer woke up he saw two brown eyes staring back at him. He gasped, only slightly startled.

"Juliet!" Jessie exclaimed. "It worked! I looked at him till he woke up!"

"What time is it?" Sawyer grumbled.

"It's 10:00 you sleepyhead!" Jessie said, climbing up on the bed and beginning to jump.

"Oh," he mumbled. "I gotta get going."

He rolled out of bed and got dressed without bothering to shower first. He walked out into the living room and Kate was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. Juliet sat down next to her wearing a smile on her face.

"So James," she started. "Is there something you want to say to Kate?"

"You can't be serious," he shook his head.

"Why am I here?" Kate asked.

"Yeah James, why is she here?" Juliet asked.

"I have no idea," he answered.

"Because," Juliet continued. "Almost two weeks ago you had sex with our friend Jack…did you not?"

"What?" she scoffed.

"We need to find out if you're pregnant," she answered.

Sawyer looked like he had been punched in the stomach. He looked at Kate and sighed softly.

"That true?" he asked.

"Ye-Juliet, I told you that in confidence," Kate scoffed. "I thought you would understand! Why would you-"

"Because Sawyer deserves to know that your past with Jack isn't exactly done. So I just thought that he should know before he does something stupid like sleep with you."

The day after Kate had arrived she had told Juliet about her last night. She hadn't told her about Aaron, but everything about Jack and how she regretted it afterwards and how it could never be like it was. She had asked Juliet not to say anything to Sawyer. She didn't really expect Juliet to keep her secret, but she also wasn't expecting her to tell him right in front of her.

Kate stood up and left the house nearly in tears. Sawyer ran after her to stop her.

"Kate wait," he said. "If what Juliet is saying is true, then she's right. I can't lose you both. We have to find out."

"I'm not ok!" Kate exclaimed. "I'm not pregnant!" She ran across the lawns to her house. Jack had seen her upset and decided to follow her. Sawyer didn't bother. He walked back into the house and looked at Juliet.

"What are you doing?" he said softly.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "If she's pregnant then-do you know anything about conception James?"

"About as much as you've told me…when I've actually been paying attention," he answered.

"When two people have sex, conception isn't immediate," she replied. "It doesn't take seconds for the egg and the sperm to connect…it takes days. Sometimes up to a full week. So if Kate is pregnant, then she conceived on the island."

"You conceived on the island," he told her. "And you claim that you're going to be fine."

"I am," she sighed. "But Kate-I just know that you can't lose her too. I'm doing this for you."

"Kate's not pregnant, alright," he interrupted. "She just told the whole village."

"Fine," she replied. "Believe it or not Sawyer, I'm just trying to protect you."

"I think those pregnancy hormones are screwing with you already Blondie," he sighed. "Come on…just stop it."

"I know," she sniffled. "I feel like an idiot. I just don't want to lose you. I've lost everything in my life. I mean my sister and my nephew…I just-I fought with Kate because I was afraid of losing you."

"It's ok," he shook his head. "Juliet…I ain't going anywhere."

"You've said that," she shrugged. "But I don't know if I believe you."

"I've already told you that I love you, but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take Juliet…if it's going to be this way your entire pregnancy…you might be right. I might just have to leave-"

"Fine," she said closing her eyes. "I won't make you do anything you don't want to James, so why don't you go over to Kate's house right now. Comfort her while she cries."

"Juliet," he sighed and stepped toward her. He put his hands on her face and she looked at him with a cold look.

"Juliet will you make me some breakfast?" Jessie asked, coming into the room.

"Sure honey," she answered, turning away from Sawyer. "What would you like to have?"

Sawyer sighed and left the house. He was greeted by a few of the people as he walked down the path. He looked around the village and noticed that Jack and Kate were both nowhere to be seen. He didn't want to go to Kate's house because he didn't want to start another fight with Juliet.

Kate was sitting on the couch with Jack comforting her. She hadn't spoken much to Jack lately. Not because she didn't want to, but there hadn't been much time for it. She looked at him and then looked away, slightly ashamed.

"I want to apologize to you," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked.

"For-for coming to you that night," she answered. "For using you. For ignoring you the next day and making you realize a tad too late that you had been used. When I told you in the plane that we're not together…I meant it. My head was a complete mess I just-I didn't mean to-I don't know what to say."

"What happened to Aaron?"

"Now he asks me," she mumbled.

"What?" Jack asked.

"That night," she sighed. "I asked you to never ask me about Aaron again-"

"Well I'm sorry but he's my nephew, so of course I'm going to ask about him," he replied.

"He's only your nephew when it's convenient for you!" she exclaimed. "That night, you didn't even care what happened to him! You just took what I said and nodded. The only thing you cared about was getting back to this damned island!"

"And so did you!" he yelled back. "You're here aren't you. You didn't have to sleep with me, you didn't have to come with us-"

"But I did," she finished his thought. "I know. And I probably never should have-I can't tell you my exact reasoning for coming back Jack. But it wasn't because of you. It wasn't because I was bowing down to what you were saying. You were with Ben-"

"I didn't know that he was going to do that to you Kate," he interrupted. "And I was only with him because he said he had a way back-"

"Here," she finished his thought again. "You were only with him because you became obsessed with coming back here. It's all you cared about obviously! You even stopped drinking and popping those damn pills long enough to try and find a way back. You couldn't stop drinking for me, but you could to come back here…But you know what? You're still the same old Jack. I heard you, you know. When I came into your house…which by the way you need to find a new hiding place for your key…the front door mat is the first place everyone looks. Anyway when I came in…I heard you in the kitchen. I heard a glass clinking."

"I had a hard day," he replied.

"Stupid excuse Jack. It should have been the happiest day of your life…you were going back to the island, with or without me."

"I would have missed you and Aaron more than anything Kate, and you know it," he told her. "I love you. And I still have the ring...of course it's in my sock drawer at home, but I still have the ring that you gave back to me."

"Because you have a hard time letting go Jack," she whispered. "Jack listen to me. I care so much about you and our friendship…but we just didn't work as a couple. You have these trust issues-"

"And you can't sit still-but you overcame that. You stayed in one place for the sake of Aaron," he said.

"I'm not in the same place anymore am I?" she asked. "Jack…I'm always going to find a reason to run…I just have to find someone who will be willing to run with me."

"I'll run all the way back to L.A. with you if that's what you wanted," he whispered.

"No you wouldn't," she shook her head. "You came back here for a reason Jack. To save everyone. To save the island. If we leave now…don't you think it'll be like going backwards…again. Aren't you just sick of going backwards?"

"So are you saying if we got back together it would be like going backwards Kate?" he asked. "Because you're wrong. We could get back together and go forward with our engagement. And it could be better."

"I don't think it would be better Jack," she whispered. "Jack, you have to know that your friendship means a lot to me. I want us to be friends. I want us to stay friends. Can't we just be friends?"

"We are friends Kate," he told her. "So friends tell each other things right?"

"I'm not telling you about Aaron," she sighed.

"Fine…but can you at least tell me what you and Sawyer were yelling about?" he asked.

"He wants to know if I'm pregnant," she replied. "I'm not…don't worry. I can't have kids. I'll never have kids. And now that Aaron's gone, I probably will never be a mom again."

"Why do you say that?" he asked. "We've got a top fertility specialist on the island, I'm sure she can tell you differently."

"She's not going to tell me anything different then any doctor I've ever been to."

"When did you have time to go to the doctor while you were busy being a fugitive?" Jack smiled.

"Before I was a fugitive," she answered. "My high school boyfriend and I started becoming-well sexually active…we used protection because we weren't idiots, but the condom broke. More than once. And then we just stopped using them because it was so much better without. And I wasn't getting pregnant. It's not that I wanted to be a teenage mom, but I just thought that something was wrong. My doctor told me that my chances of having babies were slim to none. There's something wrong with my ovaries…I don't really want to talk about it."

"Maybe there's something that Juliet can do," he whispered. "I mean I know that high school wasn't that long for you, but medicine has come a long way since then."

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I feel like it's kind of pointless anyway."

* * *

That night Kate was sitting in her house. Hurley was sitting on the couch watching a video. She decided not to join him. She was sitting at her kitchen table. She decided that she would start a journal because she was hoping that someday she would find a way to get back to Aaron and then she could tell him all about what happened. She had wished that she could have pictures of him or something to remember him by. She wanted to go to Sawyer and ask him for the picture of Aaron and Clementine, but she hadn't bothered to go talk to Sawyer because she was afraid of what might happen. When she heard the knock on the door, she thought that it would be Jack again. She stood up and went to the door. Sawyer was standing in front of her, smiling weakly.

"Hey," she said, slightly confused. "What are you doin' here?"

"I just-" he started. "I wanted to see you."

"I'm outta here," Hurley said quickly. He stood up and turned the TV off. Kate smiled at Sawyer and they walked over to the couch together. They both sat down. Their legs were touching, but neither of them looked at each other. Kate tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at him.

"I don't know if I can do this Kate," he whispered. His eyes were on the floor.

"Do what?" she asked. She leaned forward to try to catch his eye.

"Stay away from you," he sighed. Kate was leaning over with her elbows resting on her knees. He took a deep breath and leaned toward her. He kissed her lips and she kissed back. They both sat up and deepened the kiss. He cupped her face and ran his hand down her neck. Then he backed away.

"Wait," he whispered.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Kate," he chuckled. "I was the one to kiss you first."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't know why. I've been a total bitch. I deserve everything that's coming to me. I wish that we could just erase what's happened in the past 3 years, but at the same time I don't, because being Aaron's mom has been one of the most rewarding things that has ever happened to me-"

"Why are you telling me all this?" he asked.

"Because," she sniffled. "I want to be with you. I have been thinking about it for the past 4 days. I want us to be together. I know it's completely impossible, but-just-"

"No," he shook his head. He leaned toward her and kissed her again. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. They both moaned softly. Sawyer ran his hand up her back and then quickly stood up.

"What am I doing?!" he exclaimed. Kate sighed and put her head down in her hands. "I can't-I gotta go."

"Just hold on a second," she said, standing up and stopping him. "I don't know what's going on Sawyer. But you can't just run away from me every time we kiss."

"I can't keep kissing you Kate!" he exclaimed. "Don't you get that. I could lose everything that means anything to me."

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Believe me Kate, you mean a lot to me too-" he started.

"I understand," she shrugged.

"Kate," he whispered. "I'm with Juliet. We can't see each other Freckles. I'm sorry. It kills me because…well because I love you. I'm pretty sure that you're the love of my life. But I refuse to hurt Juliet anymore than I already have. She's having a baby. I'm staying with her. It's not even going to be hard to stay away from you Kate, because all I can think about is Juliet and that baby. Goodbye."

He left the house and Kate sunk into the couch. She knew that Sawyer was doing the right thing in staying with Juliet and his child, but she couldn't help but to feel horribly rejected.

Sawyer went into the house. He had left Juliet sleeping in bed, but when he went into the house she was standing in the kitchen sipping a glass of water.

"H-hey," he stuttered.

"Is Kate ok?" she asked.

"Huh?" he mumbled.

"James," she chuckled. "I saw you leaving her house."

"I was letting her down easy," he said.

"How easy?" she asked.

"It's over Juliet," he told her. "Come here. I'm not going to see her anymore."

"How is that going to work?" she asked. "You guys haven't seen each other in 3 years and it seems to me like nothing has changed. You still love her just as much. And how are you going to stay away from her?"

"I dunno," he sighed. "But I will Jules. I promise."

"Don't," she shook her head. "Don't bother promising me something that you know that you might not be able to keep it."

"Ok," he nodded and smirked. "I'll try my best then…and that is a promise."

"Do you want some ice cream?" she asked softly.

"Nah," he shook his head. "But I know you do. Do you want anything gross in it like pickles or potato chips?"

"No," she chuckled. He went over to the kitchen and made her a bowl of ice cream. She waited for him on the couch. He sat down next to her and handed her the bowl of ice cream. He put his arm around her shoulders and she started eating the ice cream.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"It's over Juliet," he said again. "Me and Kate...it's over."

"I know," she stated, turning toward him.

"Do you really believe me?" he asked.

"I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens," she answered.

"Ok," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry for being so crazy," she whispered. "I just can't lose you."

"Ditto," he replied. "I don't want to lose you either babe."

"I'm going to be ok James," she said.

"And what if you're not?" he asked.

"Well," she shrugged. "Then I guess you can mourn me for the rest of your life."

He couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. She smiled too and then got up and put her bowl in the sink. Sawyer stood up and followed her down the hall into the bedroom. They got ready for bed and climbed into the bed together. Sawyer ran his hand through her hair and he sighed deeply.

"I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep myself alive," Juliet replied. "You don't have to spend your days worrying about me."

"Well thanks," he smirked. "I guess that makes me feel a little better, but it ain't gonna keep me from worrying. I'll be worried until the baby is born. And probably afterwards too."

She smirked and leaned against him.

**A/N: I hope you all are happier with this chapter. (When it comes to Juliet anyway.). I'm so flipping excited about the promo from the next episode! I can hardly contain myself! :) Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Sawyer looked out the window in the kitchen to Kate's house. He didn't know if he had just made the worst mistake of his life. He loved Juliet, but over the 3 years that he and Kate were separated his love for Kate hadn't lessened at all. In fact that stupid saying of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was true. He only loved her more. And somehow 3 years had done Kate some good and she was even more gorgeous than he remembered.

"Hey," Juliet said coming into the room. "Whatcha doing?"

"The dishes," he answered, turning to the sink and beginning to rinse off the dishes.

"Want some help?" she asked.

"You've never really been one for housewife Juju," he chuckled.

"So?" she asked. "I'm gonna have to start. I'm not gonna be able to do all the heavy lifting anymore."

"Heavy lifting?" he shook his head. "What heavy lifting?"

"Shut up," she scoffed and shoved him. "So what are the plans today?"

"More Dharma living," he answered.

"Are you planning on going over to-"

"Juliet don't start," he said.

"I was going to say the Swan Station," she replied. "We need some shampoo."

"Sure," he nodded. "I could do that."

He left the house and made his way into the jungle. It took him 30 minutes to get to the hatch. The hatch wasn't a working station anymore, but it's where they kept extra supplies. He walked into the pantry area and started gathering a box of food. He heard the door slam shut and turned his head. He heard soft footsteps.

"Who's there!" he exclaimed. The footsteps were coming faster and Kate appeared.

"Great," she mumbled. "I was told by one of your people that I needed to come down here and get some supplies. But I guess you're already here doing that. I'll leave you alone."

"Kate," he whispered. "Wait. We can walk back together. Juliet will understand. It's not safe for you to be in the jungle by yourself."

"Why?" she asked. "I can take care of myself."

"You love saying that Kate," he chuckled. "The smoke monster is still in full swing. I'm walking you back to the village."

"Fine," she sighed. They walked back through the hatch and Kate went to open the door. She leaned against the door and it didn't budge.

"Quit messing around Kate, open the door," he said.

"It's stuck," she told him. She pushed against it harder and it still didn't move. Sawyer set the box down and pushed against it as hard as he could. He couldn't turn the wheel or move the door at all.

"Well that's just perfect isn't it?" he scoffed. "Just perfect!"

He reached into his back pocket to get his walkie-talkie. He clicked it on and it beeped a couple times. And he let out a groan.

"Lemme guess…the batteries are dead?" she asked.

"You got it," he sighed.

"So how long do you think we'll be stuck in here?" she asked.

"No one comes here anymore," he replied. "Unless we need supplies. But people will notice when I'm gone. And I'm sure El Jacko will notice you missing."

"Now what do we do?" she shook her head.

"Dunno," he shrugged. "We don't got a TV for entertainment."

"Are there board games?" she asked.

"Nope. We don't have anything here," he sighed. "Aside from food."

Kate let out a breath and stood up. She walked over to the book shelf which was still filled with books and records. She looked at the records and pulled one out. She placed the record on the player and music filled the room with Patsy Cline. She sat down on the couch and looked over at the bunk bed. She smiled softly and looked at Sawyer.

"Brings back some memories huh?" she asked.

"What are you talkin' about?" he murmured. He sat down in the chair, away from Kate.

"I played this for us to listen to when I was nursing you back to health," she answered. "You tried to kill me."

"What?" he scoffed. "What the hell-"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I turned this record on and I was going to feed you mashed up mango. You started murmuring. I leaned over you and you grabbed my by the throat."

"Is that what all that stuff about not wanting to feel anything for me?" he asked. "You were all emotional telling some dude named Wayne that you couldn't feel for me."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I thought-I thought somehow that Wayne was in you-I know that sounds crazy, but-I don't know. I was going crazy that day. I hadn't been sleeping."

"Well if there's one thing I've learned about being on this island Freckles, it's that you should get some sleep unless you want to start halucinating," he said with a small smile. "Every time I come in here all I can think about is watching Libby and Ana Lucia bleed to death."

"I still can't believe that Michael killed them."

"Me neither," he whispered. "Kate…I don't know what to say to you."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "I'm fine."

"No you're not," he shook his head. "Aaron. You lost him. And now you're-I think that you and Jack are perfect for each other."

"So how much effort did it take for you to say that with a straight face," she chuckled. "Me and Jack aren't perfect for each other James. We're not-we're not getting back together. But he is my friend."

"You guys will never be friends," he told her.

"What?" she scoffed.

"When you're in love with someone, you'll never be just friends," he told her.

"So are you saying that we'll never be friends?" she asked.

"Are you saying you're in love with me?" he whispered.

"James," she shook her head.

"There," he shrugged. "That's all I needed. You can't even say it out loud Kate."

"I love you," she said louder than she meant to. "I love you so much. And it kills me that I never told you when I had a chance."

"Well," he sighed. "I guess we'll just have to love each other from afar. We'll always have the cage right?"

"Yeah," she half chuckled.

"So now that that's out of the way...we know that we'll never be friends..." he said. "But do you think we can be drinking buddies?"

He stood up and went to the pantry. He came back with a bottle of whiskey and sat down next to Kate. He was carrying two shot glasses as well and set them both down on the table, as well as the bottle of liquor.

"Drinking buddies huh?" Kate asked. "Do you really think this is a good idea? I mean getting sloshed when we're all alone with nothing else to do? Don't you think that something could happen?"

"Not if we don't let it," he whispered.

"Well when I'm drunk," she began. "There's no telling what I will do."

"Me neither," he smirked. "But come on. I could use a drink."

He poured her a shot and handed it to her.

"Are we gonna play a stupid drinking game?" she asked.

"Why bother?" he asked. He clicked his shot glass against hers and swallowed his shot quickly. Kate did the same and made a face when it went down. Sawyer chuckled at her and poured another drink.

They polished off the rest of the bottle within 30 minutes. Kate was slurring her words badly which was rather amusing to Sawyer. They were sitting very close together. Sawyer looked at Kate and ran his hand over her cheek.

"God," he whispered. "You've gotten even more beautiful."

She looked down slightly embarrassed.

"I'm serious," he continued. "Those 3 years done you good."

Sawyer had a few more lines in his face. And his face was clean shaven. Kate touched his cheek and ran her hand across it.

"I don't really like this clean shaven look on you James," she chuckled.

"You don't?" he asked. "Why not?"

"Because it's not you," she shrugged. "Every time we kissed...you had that scruff...it suited you."

"Well Juliet likes it," he smirked.

"Well I'm not Juliet," she answered.

"You got that right Freckles," he chuckled.

"Thanks," she half scoffed and stood up. As she stood she tripped over the coffee table and fell back on the couch, only she landed on Sawyer.

"It was a compliment," he whispered. She leaned toward him slightly and then stood up off his lap.

"We're not doing this," she said, walking into the bathroom. Sawyer waited on the couch. He expected Kate to lock herself in the bathroom and stay there till they were rescued, but to his surprise he heard the toilet flush a minute later and then Kate reappeared and sat down next to him again.

"You alright?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I've lost everything that has ever meant anything to me in my life. My mom died, I lost Aaron, and now I come back here and I find out that you're perfectly happy. I can't take away your happiness, but-"

"Kate, shut up," he replied leaning over her and kissing her lips. He moaned into her mouth and kissed her deeper. Sawyer laid down on the couch and pulled Kate over on top of him. She stopped kissing him and took a deep breath.

"Is this-" she started.

"This is stupid," he shook his head. He ran his hand over her cheek, but didn't lean in to kiss her again. "Kate, I want so badly to be with you. But-"

"I know," she nodded. "This is ridiculous. I'm sorry. I'm leaving."

"Where are you goin'?" he asked. "We're stuck in here remember?"

"So what are we supposed to do?" she asked. "The only way I can see myself staying away from you is if I move to the beach or something."

"No way in hell," he replied. "You're not getting away that easily."

"Sawyer, what are we supposed to do?" she asked again. He leaned back toward her and kissed her softly.

"Nothing," he sighed. "We're not supposed to do anything. We can do whatever we want Kate. I ain't married."

"Dammit!" she exclaimed and kicked over the coffee table. She stood up and walked over to the bunk bed. She sat down and put her hands to her face. He stood up and went over toward her.

"No! Sawyer don't!"

"What?!" he asked.

"You keep contradicting yourself!" she exclaimed. "You want to be with me but you can't leave Juliet, but you're not married to her, but guess what Sawyer…it doesn't matter whether or not you're married to her…she's still pregnant!"

"Kate-" he started.

"No!" she exclaimed. "This isn't going to happen. I'm going to get us the hell out of here."

She walked back to the hatch door and tried to open it again. It still didn't budge and she fell to the ground nearly in tears. She sat next to the door while, Sawyer stayed sitting on the bed. It had been another hour and Kate looked over at Sawyer.

"What time is it?" she mumbled.

"2:00," he replied. "You talkin' to me again?"

"Sawyer," she sighed. "I-"

"Never mind," he shook his head. "I don't want to fight."

She stood up and walked over to him. She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers.

"Me neither," she answered. "I hate arguing with you. It's just so stupid."

"I know," he nodded. They both leaned toward each other at the same time. Their lips were almost touching when they heard the noise.

They both heard the clink of the hatch door. Sawyer quickly stood up and went to the door. Juliet was standing there.

"Hey," she said. "I was worried."

"The door got locked somehow. We couldn't get out," he replied.

"We?" she asked. Kate came up behind him and Juliet chuckled and nodded.

"Of course," she said. Sawyer followed Juliet out of the hatch. They walked in complete silence back to the village. The only sound was their feet crunching underneath them. Juliet was walking ahead of everyone else. Sawyer picked up his pace to catch up to her.

"Why didn't you send someone else?" he asked softly.

"What?" she asked. "Why wouldn't I come?"

"Because you're in no condition-" he started.

"I'm pregnant," she scoffed. "I took a walk through the jungle. I'm fine."

"Ok," he whispered. "If you're sure you're ok-"

"I'm fine," she repeated. "But I do want to know what happened while you were stuck in the hatch."

"Nothing Jules," he sighed. "Nothing happened."

The next thing they saw was a bright light.

"No!" Sawyer exclaimed. "It's been 3 years!"

Kate looked at Sawyer and then shielded her eyes from the brightness. She held her head and felt like her ear drums were going to pop. When the light and the noise stopped she sighed and stood up. She looked at Sawyer and they both noticed…Juliet was gone.

"Juliet!" Sawyer exclaimed. He spun around and looked in every direction. "Juliet you're not being funny! Come out!"

"Sawyer, I think she's gon-" Kate began.

"No!" he yelled. "That has never ever happened!"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"When the flashes were happening," he sighed. "Whatever object or person was with us at the time came with us. Why would she-this makes no sense."

"I agree," Kate shook her head. "Let's just get back to the village."

"Ok," he whispered. "I'm not taking any chances."

He grabbed her by the hand and they walked the rest of the way back to the village. Kate's hand was starting to lose feeling in it from Sawyer holding it so tightly.

* * *

Juliet opened her eyes and saw that Sawyer and Kate were gone. She gasped loudly and spun around, identically to what Sawyer did. She started running back to the village, when she got there, the village hadn't been built yet. She let out soft gasps, trying to get a deep enough breath and not knowing what to do. She coughed and covered her mouth. She felt her hands get wet, and quickly looked at her hands and saw blood. "No," she shook her head. She sat down in the middle of the jungle and started breathing heavier.

* * *

Sawyer went up the steps to his house and ran into his bedroom, hoping that Juliet was there, but she wasn't.

"Sawyer," Kate started. "What do you want me to do?"

"Go ask anyone and everyone if they've seen her," he answered, pushing gently past her and running back out of the house. Jack walked over to him

"What happened? What was that?" Jack asked.

"The island just moved in time. I don't know anything about it-Dan is the only person who really knows what it's all about and he's dead. Every time the flash happened when-the island somehow moves in time," Sawyer sighed. "And don't ask me how or why because I have no idea. I just know that where it all happens is at the Orchid station. Did anyone say they were going-"

"Ben," Jack interrupted. "God! I should have-Ben said that he was going to run some errands."

"You've got to be kidding me Jack, why the hell didn't you stop him?" he asked.

"Wait, where's Juliet?" Jack asked. "She was going to get you…where is she?"

"I dunno," he sighed. "I don't know! Dammit all!"

"Did she disappear?" Jack asked. "Like Claire-"

"Don't you DARE blame that on me!" he yelled.

"Sawyer I wasn't," he shook his head. "I just want to know where Juliet went?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed.

"James," Jessie frowned behind him. "Are you mad?"

"Have you seen Juliet?" he asked.

"Nuh uh," she shook her head. "Is she playing hide-and-seek?"

"No Jess," he sighed. "But we'll find her."

Suddenly the sky lit up again. Sawyer groaned and held on to his own head. Jessie wrapped her arms around Sawyer's legs and started crying.

"James!" she exclaimed. "Why does this keep happening?!"

"I don't know," he sighed. Suddenly he heard screaming. He ran toward the screaming. Jack and Kate both followed him.

"Sawyer!" the voice screamed.

"Juliet!" he yelled back. He came through the trees and found Juliet sitting on a fallen tree trunk, holding her stomach and breathing erratically. The first thing he noticed was that her stomach was 5 times the size. She looked at least 8 months pregnant.

"Juliet," he sighed. "Juliet what happened?"

"I don't know," she sobbed. "I just-I'm-I'm going into labor."

"How the hell are you already this pregnant?" he asked.

"I don't know!" she exclaimed and sobbed.

"Ok," he sighed. "Come on."

He helped her stand and then picked her up. Kate looked at the tree trunk and saw a small pool of blood. She looked at Jack and then pointed at the tree trunk.

"Jack," she whispered.

"Come on," he said. "We gotta get back to the village."

They walked back to the village. Sawyer carried Juliet into his house. He put her down in the bed and Juliet looked up at him.

"This is weird," she sniffled.

"Were you gone for 8 months?" he asked.

"No. Everything was gone. The village wasn't here. It was just trees. So I sat down and then the sky lit up again-James," she gasped. "I think my water just broke."

Sawyer looked down and saw that her jeans were soaked in blood.

"Ok," he whispered and half smiled.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "I saw that look. What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he lied. "It's ok. I'm just gonna go get Jack…he knows way more about this than I do."

Jack was coming down the hall. Kate was with him, but she didn't follow him the rest of the way.

"Jack," Sawyer whispered. "She's bleeding. Bad. I don't know-"

"Ok, we'll fix it," he said. "I'm not gonna let her die."

"Don't make promises you can't keep doc," he sighed. They went back into the bedroom and Sawyer helped Juliet out of her pants. He tossed them to the side before Juliet could see all the blood.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Something's not right."

"Hey," he shook his head and grabbed her hand. He ran his other hand over her forehead. "It's gonna be ok."

"Kate!" Jack exclaimed. "Can you do me a favor and go get some towels?"

"Y-yeah," she appeared in the door and then quickly left to get the towels.

"Jack," Juliet began. "Do me a favor ok? Save the baby. I don't want-do everything you can to save the baby."

"I'm going to save both of you," he answered. "But you gotta relax. Ok. Juliet…don't push yet, but you're going to push in just a second ok. Kate! Where are those towels?!"

Kate quickly came up behind him and handed him the towels. She looked at Sawyer who was shaking and trying his best to keep Juliet calm. Jack waited a minute more. Sawyer was getting antsy trying to figure out what the hell Jack was doing.

"Ok," Jack sighed. "Juliet push."

She started pushing. She took a breath and kept pushing until Jack told her to stop.

"Ok, the head is almost out Juliet," he said. "But hold on a second ok?"

"Don't let the baby die Jack," she sobbed.

"I'm not," he said. "It's ok. You're probably over 9 months. The baby should be perfectly fine. Just…trust me…push again Juliet."

She pushed and squeezed Sawyer's hand. He didn't want to look at the blood, so he was looking at her face instead.

"Ok the head is out," Jack said. "Stop pushing Juliet. But in just a second I'm gonna have you push really hard and then the shoulders should be out and the rest of the baby will be born."

"I know how it works Jack," she said through gritted teeth.

"Bet you didn't know how bad it was gonna hurt," Sawyer smirked.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed and smacked him away. "You suck."

"Yeah, I know," he answered.

"Ok Juliet, go, push!" Jack said. Juliet pushed. She felt the baby come out. Juliet immediately started crying, but it was because of the sound she heard. Silence. The silence was deafening. Sawyer quickly looked at the baby. The baby was a greyish blue color. Sawyer let out a soft gasp, but he tried to keep his face straight for Juliet's sake.

"Jack?" Juliet asked. He didn't answer her. "Jack? Jack!"

"Hold on!" he exclaimed. He worked for what seemed like forever, but really it was only a few seconds. Sawyer heard the baby crying and took a deep breath.

"Kate, come here," Jack said. "Take the baby into the other room."

"Wait!" Juliet asked. "I want to hold my baby. What is it?"

"You had a beautiful baby girl, but right now I'm gonna concentrate on you Juliet. There was a lot of blood, and-just-let me fix you and then you can see your daughter."

"James," she whispered. "Go. Go see if the baby's ok."

"I don't want to leave you," he said.

"I'll be right here when you get back," she smirked. "Go…go name her."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Think of something good."

"Alright then," he replied. "You did amazingly. I'll be right outside alright?"

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. He left the bedroom and walked into the living room. Kate was sitting on the couch with the baby wrapped in a white towel. She smiled up at Sawyer and then looked down at the baby.

"Blonde hair and blue eyes," she smiled.

"What'd you expect?" he asked. "Black hair and brown eyes? You mind if I hold her?"

"Of course," she said. He sat down next to her and she placed the baby in his arms.

"She looks just like Juliet," he whispered.

"She looks like you too," Kate replied, leaning over to get a better look. "And I see that look in your eyes James…Jack will fix Juliet."

"Hmm, just like he fixed Boone, and Shannon, and Ana Lucia, and Libby, and-"

"James," she said.

"What?" he scoffed. "I know Jack's a good doctor, but-"

"He saved you didn't he?" Kate asked.

"Did you see all that blood?" he asked. "Kate she was bleeding-I've never seen so much blood come out of a person. She's going to die. I can't do this all by myself. I was supposed to have 8 months to get used to the idea of being a daddy. And I have Jessie. I don't know anything about raising a kid. I just-"

"Sawyer what can I do?" Kate whispered, running her hand over his shoulder.

"Stay," he mumbled.

"Huh?" she asked.

"There's an extra bedroom," he replied. "I just-can you please stay here tonight? I mean just for tonight. I just-I need help. Even if Juliet ends up living through this...I'm gonna need help with the baby. And with Jess. Will you stay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Of course I will. What are you gonna name her?"

"Hope," he said quickly.

"That was quick," she replied."Well," he began. "It's Juliet's middle name…and she's sort of my hope."

"James," she whispered.

"Jack said that Juliet was bleeding a lot-I mean you saw it," he sighed. "I'm gonna lose her. I've been making out with you today, and now-I'm gonna lose Juliet. Karma's a bitch."

"Sawyer this is not your fault," she said, shaking her head. "You can't blame yourself."

"I can and I am," he answered. He hadn't taken his eyes off of Hope. She opened her eyes with a slight struggle and then looked at Sawyer. "Do you think she knows who I am?"

"She knows," Kate smiled. "She's exquisite Sawyer. Perfect little pink bundle."

"It's only pink from the blood," he mumbled, looking at the bloody towel. He started rocking gently back and forth. Kate hesitated before putting her hand against his back.

Sawyer heard the bedroom door open and quickly stood up, holding the baby. Jack walked down the hall. The front of his shirt was bloody. He looked at Sawyer with a frown.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "There was just so much blood Sawyer-"

Sawyer walked down the hall toward the bedroom, taking the baby with him. He shut the door behind him and sat down in the chair next to the bed. Jack had covered Juliet, there was no sign of any blood. Sawyer looked at her. She looked peaceful. He looked back at the baby and sighed.

"Your birthday is the same day your mother died," he mumbled.

**A/N: Ok…I'm horrible and I HOPE you don't hate me! I've actually been planning this since the start of my fic. I know that some of you will be really mad, and some of you might not continue reading after this, but I hope you do! Please please review!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I think that something is wrong with Fanfic, because I'm getting no stats for chapter 5. So I deleted it, and then re-uploaded it. So hopefully it will work. I dunno.**

Kate and Jack were still out in the living room. She kept looking down the hallway, hoping that Sawyer would reemerge from the bedroom. She didn't think that it would be good for him to be in the room while Juliet's body was still in there. She flogged herself for calling Juliet a dead body, even if it was the truth.

"Jack," she whispered. "What are we supposed to do? He's-I've never seen him this way before Jack. Did you see him-"

"I saw," he nodded. "Kate, he'll be ok."

"Is that seriously all you can say?" she asked. "He just watched the woman he loved…the mother of his daughter, die."

"Kate," he whispered. "I know-I'm sorry. I just meant-he's going to be ok. We'll help him through it. You'll help him through it."

"That doesn't make me feel much better," she mumbled. "I want to help him. I want to hug him. But we spent today-this morning was when we were stuck in the hatch together. It's really hard to believe. We kissed. I betrayed Juliet-"

"You didn't," he shook his head. "And besides…she wouldn't mind-ok…well maybe she would mind, but she would want Sawyer to be happy. She wouldn't-she wouldn't blame you."

"How do you know?" she shook her head.

"Because I don't blame Sawyer," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't blame Sawyer for being infatuated with you. For loving you," he said. "Of course he loves you. I love you, so why wouldn't he? And I'm sure that Juliet would feel the same about Sawyer. She loved Sawyer, she was attracted to him-so why wouldn't you be?"

"I don't know what I should do."

"I think you should go talk to him," Jack stated.

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?" she asked.

"What did you want most when your mom died?" he asked. "Or when whatever happened to Aaron-"

"I wanted someone to be there with me," she interrupted. "To hold me."

"Well…" he paused. "Then why didn't you let me hold you?"

"Why didn't you hold me?" she asked.

"You pushed me away," he replied. "We had sex and then you wouldn't let me hold you."

"Yeah," she whispered. "But you could have wrapped your arms around me anyway. Never mind, it's over. It doesn't matter. All I know is that Sawyer-it's almost like he turned into that 8 year old boy again. The look on his face."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked. Kate realized that she had said too much. She was sure that Sawyer wouldn't want Jack to know about his parents' death. She felt bad for almost spilling the beans. She stood up and sight to herself.

"I think we gotta bury Juliet," she replied.

"Do you think that Sawyer will let us?" he asked. "I don't think he'll let us get anywhere near her. I mean…I really think that you should just go talk to him. Maybe convince him that we should bury Juliet sooner rather than later? I mean I'd do it Kate, but we all know I don't have the best bedside manner."

"He named the baby Hope," she whispered.

"I wonder why," he murmured.

"It's Juliet's middle name," she answered. "And Sawyer said that she was his hope. I don't think he's going to let anyone ever touch that baby. I'm going to stay here tonight. He wants my help."

"You sure he still does?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "But I'll at least stay here for Jessie's sake."

Sawyer had been sitting in the bedroom with the baby for 15 minutes all by himself. Kate was right, she was exquisite. From what he had heard, most babies were ugly and wrinkled when they were born. Like little old men. He remembered that Aaron wasn't the cutest baby when he was first born, but he got cuter over time. Hope wouldn't have to get any cuter. He hoped that she wouldn't get uglier. Most of the time you couldn't tell boys from girls when they were babies unless the parents put those stupid bows on their heads that had the respective color associated with the gender. But Hope...she wouldn't need one of those bows. Hope's eyes were closed, but suddenly she started making noises. She started crying.

"Please don't do this to me," he said to the baby. "I can't do this right now. Please just shut up."

Sawyer's voice didn't soothe the baby at all. She started crying harder and he grumbled and shook his head.

"Hope," Sawyer began. "What do you want? You're like 5 minutes old. What could you possibly need. Just go to sleep."

Hope didn't stop crying. He didn't have a pacifier for her, but his hands were fairly clean. He took his pinky finger the tip of it into her mouth. She sucked weakly, but stopped crying. Sawyer looked down at the baby satisfied. Then he looked back at the bed. If he didn't know any better he would have thought that Juliet was just sleeping. Her lips were still pink. She looked a little pale and still had beads of sweat on her forehead. Her hair was draped over part of her cheek. He put the baby down on the bed next to Juliet and reached over for one of the unused towels sitting on the end of the bed. He wiped Juliet's forehead and brushed her hair off of her face. He laid down on the bed between Juliet and Hope. He put his hand against Hope's stomach and gently rubbed his hand in circles. He didn't face Juliet, but he was close enough to feel her next to him.

Kate walked down the hall and knocked softly on the door. She opened the door and found Sawyer laying in the bed with the baby next to him. He wasn't facing Juliet. He was staring at the baby as she slept. Kate looked at him remorsefully and tried to hold in her tears. She walked toward him and sat down next to the bed.

"James," she began.

"Look at her Kate," he interrupted. "She looks so peaceful. She has no idea that we're laying next to her dead mother."

"James," Kate whispered . "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. What do you want me to do? I don't-I'm just-"

"Take care of Hope," he answered. "That's what I want you to do. Just take care of the baby."

"I think we need to-" Kate gulped and then stopped talking.

"Then bury her," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked. "I didn't even finish talking."

"Well I knew what you were going to say," he answered. "You and Jack do whatever you want. Bury her, do what you want. I don't care. I don't care."

"Do you at least want to be ther-" she started.

"No," he interrupted. "I can't. I can't be there Freckles."

"James," she whispered and reached forward. She pushed his hair off of his face. He leaned toward her and ran his hand over her face too. She flinched slightly and he leaned forward again. He shook his head and then stopped touching her.

"She's-she's dead. Just dead-" he started.

"James, don't," she whispered.

"It's all my fault!" he exclaimed. "I was making out with you today! And now she's dead!"

"James, she's not dead because you kissed me," she sniffled. "Women die all the time during child bir-"

"That is not why she's dead!" he yelled. "The damn flashes! She died because of the flashes. And it's my fault for not staying here! I could have stopped Ben!"

The baby woke up and started crying. Sawyer groaned and sat up, taking the baby in his arms. Kate sighed and moved over to sit down next to him. She ran her hand over his shoulder.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Honey, it's not your fault."

"Go bury Juliet. Do me a favor Kate," he said.

"Anything," she whispered.

"Leave me alone," he said sternly.

"D-do you still want me to stay tonight?" she asked.

"For the sake of Jessie and Hope," he mumbled. "Because I'm not gonna be much of any good…but I don't want to see you."

"O-k," she said softly. "Fine."

She stood up and tired to hold in the tears so Sawyer didn't see her, but she started crying before she walked away. She wasn't crying because of Sawyer's request, or because he yelled. She was crying for him, and for Hope, and for Juliet.

"Kate wait," he stated. She turned back and looked at him, but didn't walk toward him. "The baby. Take the baby."

She walked over to the baby and took the baby from him. He laid back down and rolled over to face Juliet and then promptly rolled back over and covered his face with his hands. Kate brushed her hand gently over Sawyer's arm, and he flinched when she touched him. She left the room and walked back down the hall. Hope started crying again and Kate rocked her softly as she walked back toward Jack.

"He wants to be left alone," Kate said softly. "But he doesn't care if we bury Juliet."

"Is he alright?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't think so. I don't know what to do. He wants me to stay here tonight, but he doesn't want me to go anywhere near him."

"Well something tells me he isn't gonna be much of help to those little girls tonight," he replied. "I think maybe you should stay here for tonight. At least for Hope and Jessie."

"Yeah, I'm going to," she sighed.

They buried Juliet and they had a short memorial for her. Kate was taking care of Hope. She felt horribly guilty and almost felt like it was déja vu from taking care of Aaron. She was holding the tiny baby in her arms while they buried her mom. She looked over at Jack half way through the service. Jack wasn't crying. He looked as if he had no more emotions left.

After the memorial service for Juliet, Kate and Jack got some of the baby stuff from one of the other houses. They set up a nursery in one of the bedrooms, but kept the bed in the room. Kate slept in the baby's room.

That night Kate had tucked Jessie in, and read her a story, but Jessie refused to go to sleep until Kate told her where Juliet was. Kate didn't know what to say to the 6 year old so she just told her that Juliet went away for awhile. Jessie figured out that Juliet was dead. Kate tried to hug and comfort the little girl, but instead she quickly went under the covers and refused to let Kate touch her.

"Lemme alone!" Jessie exclaimed and cried.

Kate left the room and then went to Sawyer's room. She saw that the bed was stripped of all the bedding. Sawyer wasn't there. She walked back toward her bedroom and then heard a soft crash coming from the kitchen. She hadn't seen Sawyer all night, so she was glad that he was making himself some food. She knew that he hadn't eaten anything all day. She walked into the kitchen and saw him helping himself to a bottle of rum.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I told you to leave me alone," he said softly and gently.

"Y-yeah, I know," she whispered. "I was just checking on you. Making sure you were alright."

"You wanna know if I'm alight?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded.

"No," he replied. "I'm not. Juliet is-she's dead. My kid was born on the day that Juliet died! I don't know how I'm ever going to look at her again."

"Because she's your daughter and you love her," Kate answered.

"Can you just go?" he asked. "I mean…don't go go…but leave me alone. Please."

His eyes were pleading. She stepped toward him to go in for a hug, but then thought better of it and took a step back.

"Ok," she nodded. "I'm sorry. See you tomorrow maybe?"

"Yeah, he mumbled. "Tomorrow."

Kate walked back to the bedroom. The baby was fussing again and she sighed to herself. She rubbed her forehead and picked her up.

"I didn't get to experience this fun beginning stage with my son," she told Hope. "He was 3 months when I started taking care of him. He had already learned to sleep through the night. I loved my little boy more than anything. He was my whole world. I promise you that your daddy is going to start taking care of you soon."

She stopped talking and then put Hope back into the crib. She laid down in the bed and looked at Hope. Hope was sleeping contentedly again. Kate started crying softly. She started thinking about how this little girl would never know her mother. Jessie would never see her parents again. She would never see Aaron again. Sawyer would never hold Juliet in his arms again. The last thought made her relieved and then feel guilty for even thinking it. She wiped her cheeks and then heard the door opening. She gasped and looked toward the door.

"Freckles," Sawyer mumbled. "Freckles, you awake."

"Yeah," she said softly, trying to hide her sniffle. He walked over to the bed and climbed in next to her. He kissed her lips roughly and ran his hand down her back. He rolled over on top of her and deepened the kiss.

"Sawyer," she whispered. He groaned into her ear, but didn't say anything as he kept kissing her neck and lips. He shoved her pants down. He pulled them off of her legs and then laid down on top of her. He was holding her down, but not roughly. "Sawyer, stop, you're drunk."

"Call me James," he growled into her ear.

"James, don't," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked. "This is what we both want. We both want it and now that she's dead we can have it."

"James," she sighed and shook her head. He pressed his face into her neck and Kate heard him crying softly. She could feel the dampness on her neck. Part of it was from his mouth against her neck, but the other was the tears falling. She rolled them over so they were laying on their sides. She cradled his head in her arms and he continued to cry. She took a deep breath and continued to hold him.

"Freckles," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she said softly. "It's alright. Cry Sawyer. Cry as much as you can."

"It's not ok Kate," he sniffled. "I'm supposed to be the man. I'm supposed to take care of her. She promised me that she would be ok. There was so much blood Kate. I couldn't even-I told her everything would be ok. She didn't even know that she was going to die."

"Sawyer don't do this to yourself," Kate shook her head. "She-she died, and that sucks. It's the worst possible thing that could happen. But it is not your fault. You were trying to protect her. Trying to stay calm for the sake of your daughter."

"I chose my daughter over her," he mumbled. "Because I don't love her like-like I love you. If I had to chose between you and her, it would be you every time."

"James, you chose your daughter over her because both of them were in danger," she whispered. "No matter what you did Sawyer, she was going to die."

"Well in the words of Jessie, I want her to not be dead," he replied. "Why did she have to die? She never even got to see Hope. It's not fair."

"No," Kate shook her head. "It's totally unfair. But we're going to tell that little baby how wonderful her mom was."

"Will you just-" he began. "Can we lay like this forever?"

She leaned against him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He pressed his face back against her neck and continued to run his hands down her body. He put his hand against her lower back and tangling their legs together. He was wearing only his boxers. He ran his hands up the back of her shirt.

"James," she whispered.

"I'm not gonna try anything," he mumbled. He ran his hands over her legs and she shuddered next to him.

"James," she repeated softly.

"I love everything about you," he whispered. He took his hands and placed them on her cheeks. He gave her a small kiss on the lips and then moved his mouth to her cheek. "You're perfect."

"I'm far from perfect," she responded. "Do you know who's perfect? That baby laying in the crib over there. She's perfect."

"Kate," he sniffled. "Will you just-will you help me forget?"

"James," she whispered.

"Let me forget," he repeated. "I just want to pretend that it's 3 years ago and I want to be able to pretend that you're mine, even though I know you're heart will always fully be with Jack."

"My heart is yours," she answered softly.

"I can't stop touching you," he said, running his hands up and down her sides. The feeling of his hands made Kate gasp softly in pleasure. "Don't make me stop Kate."

"James-" she started.

"I missed touching you," he whispered into her ear. "I love the sounds you make. Even if you were just faking it. Did you ever fake it Kate? For my sake? Because if you were faking it, then it's ok. I don't care. Did you ever moan extra loud because you were afraid that I couldn't handle it?"

"No," she whispered. "I never had to fake it James. I loved the way you made me feel. You're amazing."

"Did you have to fake it with Jack?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about Jack," she shook her head.

"Did he make you moan like I do?" he whispered, reaching his hand between them. Kate let out a sharp gasp and pushed his hand away only slightly.

"I love hearing your breath in my ear," he continued. "When you would try to be quiet. You let out those sharp breaths right next to my ear."

"Wh-why are you-" she started.

"Let me make you moan again Kate," he said softly.

She shuddered again and took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She thought that it would leap right out of her chest. It was almost as if this was the first time. She wanted it badly, but her mind kept wandering. She was thinking about Juliet. She was thinking about how it was just last night that he was laying with Juliet next to him. Did they have sex last night? Was he making her moan? She knew that the fact that she was with Jack, drove Sawyer crazy. But the fact that Sawyer had been with Juliet, drove her just as crazy. He pressed his lips to hers and she took another breath and turned her cheek. It didn't stop him from running his mouth and tongue against her neck. She put her hand against his neck and he stopped.

"Don't hate me," he said.

"I don't," she shook her head. "Sawyer, as badly as I want this…and you can't imagine how badly…we can't. You know we can't. It isn't right. And with the baby right here-James, you just lost Juliet. Do you really think that it would be a good idea?"

"I love your lips," he whispered, apparently ignoring what she was saying. He kissed her lips and pushed his tongue into her mouth. She opened her mouth to protest, and he only deepened the kiss with the access she gave him.

"I can imagine," he said quietly.

"What?" she asked.

"If you don't want this tonight Kate, I can pretend. I can imagine everything," he said, stopping kissing her. "I used to imagine it all the time. My hands on you."

As he spoke he ran his hands over her breasts. She looked at him somewhat exasperated, but she didn't push his hand away.

"I've been waiting 3 years to love you," he whispered, kissing her lips again.

"James, you're drunk," she stated again.

"So what?" he asked. "People get drunk, and they have break up sex, and make up sex, and comfort sex…who cares where it comes from Freckles? In fact…if memory serves, you had comfort sex with Jack the day before you got here. And you and I had comfort sex when you saw the doc and Juliet hanging out. You came to me for comfort, right? So why can't I do the same? You got to be vulnerable for a night. You got to come into my tent with tears streaming down your cheeks over Jack. So…let me just be like you, just this once."

"You don't want to be like me," she frowned and shook her head.

"Kate the first day that I saw you, I wanted to show you how I could make you feel," he said, running his hand between her legs. She let out a sharp audible moan and breathed unevenly. "I remember when I saw you going into the jungle with Sayid, you were wearing that orange shirt and those jeans that hugged your curves in all the right places."

"James," she whispered in protest, but still didn't push him away.

"I wanted to shove you to the ground and make a woman out of you. But then…after a while it wasn't about just wanting to screw you. You gave me that kiss and I craved your lips again."

He kissed her softly and quickly, without using his tongue.

"And your tongue," he whispered very quietly. He kissed her again and this time pushed his tongue into her mouth, softly and slowly. She backed away and gasped. "Then the more I got to know about you Freckles, the more curious I became. I wanted to know about your past, and I also wanted to know what was underneath your clothes. I found myself thinking about you all the time."

He rolled over on top of her and started running his hands over her body. He sat up on her legs, but didn't put any weight on her.

"I wanted to know where you liked to be touched," he whispered. "It wasn't about my own satisfaction, it was about what I could do to satisfy you. Like I learned that you made different sounds when I would touch you different places. A soft gasp when I would touch you ass."

He reached down and lifted her hips to get his hand underneath her.

"A sharp moan when I would kiss your hip."

He went down her body and kissed her hip and bit at it gently. He nipped her skin harder, knowing it would leave a mark. Kate couldn't help herself but moan sharply, and suck in the air through her teeth.

"Is it because it hurts, or because it feels good?" he asked.

"Both," she answered.

"I knew that," he replied. "And you would sigh contentedly when I would touch your cheek with the back of my hand."

He came back up her body and stroked her cheek gently with his knuckles barely touching her cheek. She didn't sigh, but she wanted to.

"I want you so badly," he said. "And it's not just because I'm drunk. Or because I need to feel something other than this hole in my heart."

"James," she said with the tears stinging her eyes. "Can't we just sleep? I mean just for tonight. I know that you don't want to forget Juliet's memory this quickly. We held off from each other this morning in the hatch because you couldn't cheat on her-"

"What do you think would have happened if she hadn't come right when she did?" he asked. "I would have taken you right there on the bunk bed. Then it would really be a memory…instead of me being there half dead, or watching Libby suffer there. I would have-"

"Ok, but you didn't," she interrupted. "And I honestly don't think that you would have. You would have felt guilty about Juliet. We both would have stopped it in time. I just think that if we're going to be together James, it should be on our own terms, and not just because you need comfort."

"Fine," he mumbled. "You win tonight, but tomorrow is a brand new day."

"Tomorrow?" she half smiled.

"I can't sleep alone," he told her. "I don't want to sleep alone. So will just stay here? I mean…I need help. I can't take care of Hope all by myself."

"Ok," she half nodded. "I'll help you. It's gonna be ok James. I promise you. Everything will be alright."

They both fell asleep quickly. They had let each other go half way through the night. Kate woke up to two different things. The first was Hope crying and the second was Sawyer tossing and turning next to her. At first Kate thought he was having a nightmare, but then she heard him moaning softly. They were not the moans of a bad dream.

"Sawyer," she whispered, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Kate," he moaned. "Oh, Kate."

"Faker," she said, standing up to get the baby. She picked up the baby and looked down at her. "I don't know why I'm doing this. Your daddy is right there. You're probably starving-Sawyer. Sawyer!"

"Hmm, what?" he mumbled, waking up the rest of the way.

"Is there any baby formula anywhere in this village?" she asked.

"Check the cupboard out in the kitchen," he moaned and rolled back over.

"Why would _you_ guys have the baby formula?" she asked. "Juliet wasn't supposed to have the baby for 8 more months-"

"She got formula because she's the fertility specialist," he said, still half asleep. "I dunno Kate, she was weird."

"I'm gonna put the baby down on the bed ok?" she asked. "Can you make sure she doesn't roll off?"

Kate set the baby down without waiting for an answer. She was still crying. Sawyer looked at the baby as if Kate just set a bomb down next to him. She wasn't sure why he went from not being able to take his eyes off of her, to now, barely able look at her. She left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen. She opened several cupboards, and then found the Dharma brand formula. She was thankful that they had the formula for Hope. She didn't know what they would have done without it. She made the bottle and then came back into the bedroom. She smiled weakly as she saw Sawyer holding the baby and trying to calm her down. She sat down next to him on the bed and handed him the bottle. He reluctantly took the bottle from her and put the bottle in Hope's mouth. She immediately stopped crying and Sawyer looked at Kate, gratefully. She looked at Sawyer and then at the baby. They sat in silence as Sawyer fed the baby. He stood up when the bottle was empty and put Hope back into the crib. Kate crawled back under the covers and Sawyer got into the bed next to her.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

"You would be alright," Kate assured him. He moved toward her and rested his hand on her neck. Then slowly down her collarbone. Kate thought for sure he would continue to her breasts, but he didn't. She leaned forward and kissed his lips. He kissed her back, but didn't move closer. He deepened the kiss and didn't let either of them up for air. He still didn't move closer to her, but she however did. He ran his hands both down her body and began running his hands across her back. She moaned and then stopped kissing him and looked over at the crib to see the baby was sleeping soundly. She looked back at Sawyer and moved even closer.

"I thought you didn't want to tonight," he said softly.

"Changed my mind," she replied. "You make me change my mind. The things you do to me." She kissed him and he deepened the kiss and let his hand rest on her cheek.

"Hmm," he said softly. She breathed in deeply and rolled over on top of him. She pulled her shirt up over her head and smirked down at him. He ran his hand up her stomach and pulled her back down into a kiss. He rolled them over so he was on top. She gasped again and ran her fingers down his shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her softly, slowing the pace down significantly. He let out a deep breath and rolled off of her. He ran his hand down her arm and side. He closed his eyes and took another breath.

"What?" she whispered.

"Believe me…I want this so badly," he sighed. "But you're right. I just-I can't. I can't do this."

He stood up and left the room quickly. Kate sighed softly to herself and put her shirt back on. She laid down and looked at the baby. She didn't attempt to go to sleep because she knew that she wouldn't. She watched as the baby slept. She hoped that the baby wouldn't wake up. She was only laying alone for 10 minutes before she felt Sawyer get back in to the bed. She didn't move from her spot. She waited for him, and he put his arms around her. He put his mouth against her neck. He tilted her head toward him and kissed her. They laid like that for a minute, spooning and kissing. She stopped kissing to take a breath but didn't face him. Kate could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

"I don't know what I was thinking," he said softly. "I'm totally-I'm just really messed up Freckles. I miss her already. But I missed you so much. I missed this. Just stupid banter. We never really cuddled like this, but even though those times were few and far between…I loved it. I loved holding you in my arms."

"I loved it too," she whispered, still not facing him. "I felt so safe."

"And it just makes me feel so guilty," he sighed. "Juliet knew that she would always be second best. But there were times when I made her feel like she was first. She did something to me…I don't know-I started opening up to her basically the first day you were gone. I don't know how it happened…but she got me to open up."

"Why?" she asked. "I mean-how? I mean-never mind."

"I don't know," he whispered. "But she was there for me when I had no one. You were gone. I thought you were dead-"

"I thought you were dead too," she sniffled. "I mean…when I saw you again, it was like a dream."

"I thought I was losing my mind," he chuckled. "I want us. But I want to-can we wait?"

"We've waited 3 years," she replied. "What's a few more days."

"Thank you," he whispered. He kissed her hair softly and pulled her further into his arms. She flipped over and rested her head against his chest.

**A/N: So? Please please review. I'm still so so excited to see the Skate reunion. I know that they are going to drag it out as much as they possibly can, but I'm really holding out for next week! Fingers crossed!**


	6. Chapter 6

When Kate woke up she didn't feel Sawyer's arms around her. She rolled over to where she figured he was laying. The bed was warm still, but Sawyer was gone. She heard movement behind her and flipped over. Sawyer was standing at the crib looking in at the baby. Sawyer had his arms resting on the crib railing, and his head was on his arms. The baby was sleeping soundly, which shocked Kate. She hadn't heard the baby even once in the course of the night. She hadn't bothered putting her shirt on from the night before. She got out of the bed and pulled the sheet with her, wrapping it around her body. Sawyer didn't seem to hear her moving behind him. She put her hands on his shoulders and then wrapped one arm around him, and the other holding the sheet around her.

"Morning," she whispered.

"Hi," he said blankly.

"How's she doing?" Kate asked.

"Sleeping," he answered obviously.

"How are _you_ doing?" she whispered.

"I can't believe she's gone," he sighed. "I can't believe it was only yesterday. And I can't believe that you sleep like a rock."

"What do you mean?" she asked."

She got up like 3 times last night, and you didn't so much as stir," he told her.

"She got up 3 times?" she said softly. "I must have been tried."

"Well," he replied. "It's noon Kate, so yeah, you must have been."

"It's noon?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I would have woken you up, but you looked so peaceful."

"Well I wish you would have woken me up," she replied, rubbing her eyes. "Where's Jessie?"

"Out playing with the other kids," he said. "I'm sorry about last night Kate. It's not going to happen again. Me, having a stupid mental breakdown."

"Sawyer," she shook her head and put her hands on his cheeks. "Sawyer, I promise you…it's totally fine. I actually liked being able to take care of you. I finally felt useful again."

"Well in case you didn't know, you are useful Freckles," he whispered. "In more ways than one."

She scoffed softly, but smiled and then pushed him playfully. He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly and slowly. She gasped softly into his mouth and he pushed her toward the bed. She half tripped over the sheet, that was already beginning to fall from around her. He pulled the sheet from between them. His arms were around her as soon as the sheet was down. He pushed her into the bed and landed on top of her. She gasped softly and kissed him gently. He deepened the kiss and tore off his shirt swiftly.

"I'm over her," he murmured.

"What?" she asked. "You're not-Sawyer, what are you talking about?"

"I'm in love with you," he answered. "I want to-I want us to-I'm ready to-are you really going to make me finish this sentence?"

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

"More than sure," he said into her ear.

They were laying width ways on the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist quickly and sighed deeply. She looked at him and ran her hands down the back of his neck. He looked down at her body and let out a soft breath.

"God," he whispered. "I can't believe it's been 3 years. I can't believe I've been able to stop myself for 2 weeks."

"I love you so much," she said looking up at him.

"You're gorgeous," he said, running his hand over her cheek.

"Not so bad yourself cowboy," she smirked, leaning up to kiss him.

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. She smiled wider and shoved him over. She quickly climbed on top of him and he ran his hands over her body, similarly to what he had done the previous night.

"Do you think we should do this with the baby right here?" she whispered.

"Shhh-" he whispered. "She's sleepin'. She won't wake up. She just went to sleep."

"How do you know?" she asked. "She's only a day old. You already know her sleeping patterns?"

"Like I just said, she just went to sleep, why would she wake up?" he asked. No sooner did Sawyer speak, then the baby woke up and started crying. "Dammit."

Kate got off of him and he got out of the bed and picked up the baby. He sat down on the edge of the bed and held her closely.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered and bounced her slowly.

"Sawyer," she said shaking her head. "Don't bounce the baby like that. She's new born."

"You wanna take over?" he asked

."Sawyer-" she began.

"I know what I'm doing," he answered.

"Really?" she asked. "You know exactly what you're doing?"

"Not a clue," he shook his head. "How should I calm her down then?"

"Well, doing what you're doing right now, is jostling her," she answered. "Just rock her slowly. Can I show you?"

Sawyer handed her the baby and Kate held her and rocked her gently. Hope stopped crying and put her thumb in her mouth. Kate smirked and looked at Sawyer. Sawyer smiled at her and kissed her softly. Then he deepened the kiss. He took the baby from her and lowered her carefully back into the crib. Then he quickly went back to where Kate was kneeling on the bed. He kissed her passionately and she chuckled softly and laid down.

The covers and the sheet were both on the floor. Neither of them were cold. The scent of the air was sweet with sweat. Sawyer ran his hands through Kate's hair. Her hair was a tangled mess, but Sawyer still looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She reached her hand up to his forehead which still had beads of sweat lingering on it. She wiped her hand over his forehead and smiled.

"I can't believe we kept away from each other for two weeks either," she whispered.

"I'm so glad you're back," he sighed. "I really thought I'd never see you again. That's the only reason why I was ever with Juliet. If I thought I had a chance in hell at seeing you again-"

"Shhh," she shook her head.

"No," he replied. "I'm serious. I'm just-I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too," she beamed.

**3 Years Later**

Sawyer was in Jessie's room reading her a story. She was leaning on his chest. She had her ear pressed against his heart. She was looking up at his lips watching them move as he read.

"James," she started. "Do you ever miss Juliet?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I miss her. Sometimes.

""But not always?" she asked. "I don't always think about her either. I like Kate."

"Me too," he said with a smile.

"Sawyer," Kate stated, poking her head into the room. "I need to talk to you when you're done."

"Goodnight Kate!" Jessie exclaimed.

"Goodnight Jessie," Kate smiled.

"Mommy!" Hope exclaimed from behind her. When Hope started calling Kate 'mommy', Kate didn't like it so much. It reminded her exactly what happened with Aaron. She wanted to tell Hope from the beginning that she wasn't her mother, but Sawyer insisted that she was the only mother Hope would ever know. Kate gave in to it, knowing it would be impossible to try to explain to a 1 year old that she wasn't really her mom.

"Yes, Hope," Kate said, turning around.

"Hope it's bedtime darling," Sawyer said.

"OK daddy," Hope replied. She walked back to her bedroom and shut the door. Kate always thought it was funny that Hope did everything Sawyer always said, and she hardly ever listened to Kate. Kate shrugged and left the bedroom. Sawyer finished the story with Jessie, and then went back into the living room. Kate was sitting on the couch with a mug of what Sawyer thought was coffee. He took the mug from her and she scoffed softly.

"I just want a sip," he answered. He sipped it and then coughed slightly. "What is that?"

"It's tea," she responded.

"Why are you drinking tea?" he asked. "You always have coffee after dinner."

"I know," she nodded. "But tea has less caffeine in it."

"Exactly," he said. "Caffeine is good for what I'm planning for tonight."

"Sawyer," she shook her head and shoved at him. "Can you think of any reason why I would want less caffeine?"

He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. She waited for him to answer, but instead he stood up and left the house, slamming the door behind him. Kate leaned forward and put her head down in her hands.

"Mommy?" a small meek voice came from behind her. "Daddy mad."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Come on Hope, let's get back to bed."

Kate picked up Hope and carried her back to the bedroom. She set Hope down and then laid down next to her. Hope refused to close her eyes and Kate sighed softly.

"You need your sleep little girl."

"I big girl!" Hope exclaimed.

"Ok…well even big girls need sleep," Kate answered. There was a soft knock on the door, and then it opened slowly.

"Kate?" Jessie asked. "You want me to try? Hope likes to listen to me."

Kate got up off the bed and Jessie looked at Hope.

"Hope guess what?" Jessie started.

"What?" Hope asked, shoving her thumb in her mouth.

"Your mommy and daddy are going to sleep," Jessie replied. "Your daddy is already sleeping-"

"Nuh uh," Hope shook her head quickly. "Daddy outside."

"Nuh uh," Jessie mocked. "He's in his bedroom."

"Me see!" Hope exclaimed.

"No," Jessie replied. "Shh. You gotta be quiet because he's sleeping. So you should too."

"Ok," Hope said. She closed her eyes and Kate looked at Jessie in awe. They left her bedroom and then went into the hallway.

"Thanks," Kate stated, slightly shocked. "James really is outside, so I'm gonna go find him."

"Ok," she nodded. "G'night Kate."

"Night," Kate wrapped her arms around her and kissed her on top of the head. Kate went outside the house and found Sawyer sitting on the porch. She went and sat down next to him and sighed deeply.

"You alright?"

"Hell no," he shook his head. "No, Kate, I'm not."

"It's gonna be fine," she whispered.

"Oh yeah?" he asked. "Well, that's what Juliet said!"

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "It's not like I got pregnant on purpose."

"Well," he sighed. "You should be upset Kate…not happy."

"I am happy!" she exclaimed. "I'm happy! We're having a baby! I love you…that's what happens in real life Sawyer! People love each other and they get married and have babies and have a family! If you want to sit out here and sulk, then that's just fine, but I won't let you make me feel like crap about this!"

She got up and ran back into the house. Kate ran into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. She crawled into the bed and pulled the covers around herself. She refused to let herself cry over him. But she could feel the lump in her throat and the tears stinging the back of her eyes. She breathed in deeply a few times to make the tears go away, and thankfully they did.

Kate heard the door open, but didn't turn toward it. She didn't move when she felt Sawyer lay down next to her. When Sawyer put his arms around her she still didn't move or make a sound. He kissed her neck softly and went to her lips. She still didn't move, but she didn't push him away either. He sighed into her ear and rolled her over toward him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just can't lose you."

"Just because Juliet-" she began. "She didn't die because she was pregnant Sawyer…and even you have said that. I don't know what's going to happen…but I'm happy Sawyer. I'm gonna be a mom for the first time. I mean a real mom."

"I'm sure you were very real to Aaron, and I know you're real to Hope," he whispered.

**4 Years Later**

Sawyer was holding his son on his hip. Kate had chosen the name Brady. Brady had his head resting on Sawyer's shoulder. He had brilliant green eyes and stick straight blonde hair. Hope and Jessie were standing in front of the grave. They both stepped forward at the same time and put the flowers on the grave.

"Love you mom," Hope said softly

"Me too," Jessie answered.

Hope ran toward the house where Kate was waiting on the porch. She flung her arms around Kate's neck and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," she choked out.

"What?" Kate asked, running her hand through her hair.

"I'm so sorry," Hope sobbed.

"Hope," Kate sighed. "Why are you sorry?"

"I just called her mom," she replied. "I didn't mean it."

"Hey," Kate shook her head. "Sweetie, it's fine. You have two moms. I know that your birth mom loved you more than anything."

"But I should call her Juliet," Hope answered.

"You can do whatever you want," Kate stated. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"What if I stopped calling you mom, and called you Kate, like Jessie does?" Hope asked. "Would you be sad?"

"Hope, you've been calling me mom for 7 years," Kate replied, hurt, by Hope's request. "But if you really-"

"No!" Hope exclaimed. "I want to call you mom."

"OK," Kate smiled. Sawyer, Brady and Jessie walked toward where Kate was sitting.

"Mommy," Brady started. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," she smirked.

That night Kate and Sawyer took turns saying goodnight to all the kids. Jessie and Hope shared a room. They made bunk beds. Jessie was terrified of heights, even though she was older than Hope, she refused to sleep on the top bunk. Hope and Jessie were sitting on the bottom bunk together waiting for Sawyer to come in to say goodnight. There was no longer bedtime stories. Instead Jessie and Hope would entertain each other by making up stories. Jessie loved to read so sometimes she would read to Hope. And even though Hope could read, she hated to read, so she never did.

Sawyer walked into the room and bent down to hug Jessie and Hope.

"Dad?" Hope began.

"Yeah," he said, standing up.

"I killed my mom right?" Hope asked softly.

"Hope," he answered, shocked. "No. Hope, it is not your fault. What makes you think that?"

"A book that me and Jessie are reading," she replied. "The mom died having the baby."

"Well that happens sometimes," he sighed. "I was real worried about Kate when she got pregnant because I was really scared that she might die too. But sweetheart, it's not your fault."

"I told you that," Jessie said.

"Well," Hope shrugged and frowned.

"Don't blame yourself Hope," he stated. "You'll drive yourself crazy if you do. I blamed myself for a long time. I used to think it was my fault for not keeping a close enough eye on her, or for letting it happen. Hope, it really really sucks that you'll never meet your real mom, but Kate loves you so much."

"I know mom loves me," she answered. "I just wish I could see a picture of my birth mom."

"Just look in the mirror Boo," he whispered.

"Dad," Hope sighed. "I love you too."

"Trust me Boo Boo, you look just like your mother," he said. Everyone called Hope, Boo, because when Brad was old enough to speak, he couldn't say Hope, so he just called her Boo, and it stuck.

"People always say that, but how can it be true?" she asked. "I mean just alike? Like twins? Brad looks like you, but not just like."

"Well you have her exact eye color and her exact hair color," he began. "And you just-you look like her."

"Mom told me that I have your mouth," she said.

"Well that's only because you swear like me," he replied. "And you need to stop doin' that…in front of your mom anyway."

"Alright," he sighed. "Get up into bed."

Hope easily climbed up on to the top bunk, without using the ladder. She kept telling Kate and Sawyer that they didn't need the ladder, but they insisted on keeping it. Jessie shook her head and looked at Sawyer.

"Goodnight James," she whispered.

"Goodnight," he said with a smile.

"Night Boo," Jessie said.

"Night Jess," she answered groggily, already beginning to fall asleep.

He walked out of the room and into the bedroom. Kate was laying in the bed already, but she was laying on top of the covers. Her arms were crossed under her head. He walked toward her and laid down, half on her and half off. He kissed her softly and she quickly wrapped her arms around him. He ran his hand over her cheek and then leaned down to kiss her harder. She breathed in deeply. Sawyer rolled off of her the rest of the way and then kissed her quickly.

"Hope blames herself," he mumbled.

"For what?" she asked.

"For Juliet," he answered.

"Well, now, that sounds familiar," she said. "What did you say?"

"Oh, I told her it was all her fault," he replied. "Y'know, if it wasn't for Hope, Juliet would be alive…that kind of thing."

"I knew it!" Hope exclaimed running out of the room.

"Hope!" Sawyer yelled. He ran after her. Hope ran out of the house with Sawyer quickly behind her. It was dark, but Sawyer knew where she was headed. There was a secret hiding place near the jungle that she always liked to go to. Sawyer quickly grabbed her and pulled her back toward him. He pulled her into a hug, being much stronger than the 7 year old. She was sobbing against his chest. He fell to his knees in front of her and sighed deeply.

"Boo," he sighed. "I don't blame you. Sweetheart it is not your fault."

"Then why did you just say if it wasn't for me, Juliet would be alive?" she sobbed.

"Because I was-" he began. "Mom asked me what I said to you when you asked if it was your fault. I was kidding. I was being sarcastic."

"But you sometimes think that?" she asked.

"Boo," he shook his head. "I never think that. I never blame you Hope. You're my baby. I love you more than anything Hope."

"More than Brady," she half smiled, through her tears.

"Differently," he answered. "But, just know, that I love you more than my own life. I would do anything. So don't blame yourself for Juliet's death ok? Because that would kill me if you thought it was your fault."

"Ok," she frowned.

"Ok," he whispered. "Come on."

Sawyer stood up and lead Hope back to her bedroom. Before they went through the door to the bedroom, Hope stopped in the hallway.

"Daddy," she began. "It's not fair."

"No it's not," he shook his head. "It sucks. It's-it's really really unfair. I don't even know what to say. I hate that you never got to meet your birth mom."

"I feel bad for Jessie," she frowned. "Jessie doesn't have a mommy or a daddy. I have a mommy and a daddy."

"That's right," he nodded. "And don't you ever forget…but lemme tell you something else. Even though Jessie doesn't call us mommy and daddy…me and mom are Jessie's parents too. We've been taking care of her for 7 years."

"I know," she whispered.

"Ok, goodnight Boo Boo," he said.

Sawyer went back into the bedroom and sighed deeply. He laid down in the bed next to Kate and she looked at him with a frown.

"Well that was good," she mumbled.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But she knows you're her mom. She loves you so much Kate. She just wishes that she could have met Juliet."

"I wish she could have known Juliet too," she nodded. "But I love her. She's my daughter. I feel-I keep thinking about Aaron and how he was my son. So Hope is my daughter. It's probably wrong of me to say that, and you probably want to-"

"Kate, stop right there," he said softly. "Hope is your daughter Kate. Just like Aaron was your son. You will always remember Aaron as your son. I mean Aaron is also Claire's son…just like Hope is also Juliet's daughter."

"Thanks," she smiled.

"I mean right?" he asked. "I'm serious…you were his mom for 3 years."

"But I've been Hope's mom for 7."

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I hope you know how much I love you."

"I know," she whispered. "I love you too."

"I know," he replied.

"Good," she smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

_**A/N: Ok. So now that they're together, I'm going to end the story before it gets too redundant. I will probably write another story after they're reunited. So anyway…THE END…Please review!!!**_


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